


Death of Knowledge

by DianaNatashaCarter432



Category: Black Widow (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2020-07-29 13:00:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 34,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20082604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DianaNatashaCarter432/pseuds/DianaNatashaCarter432
Summary: "Mommy loves you. Daddy loves you."That was the only memory Natasha Romanoff had of her mother. Who knew her mother and father would come back, almost 70 years later, as Lady Britannia and Captain America?She almost wanted to cry. But the Black Widow doesn't weep.





	1. Chapter 1

Natasha doesn’t much remember her childhood. In fact, she doesn’t’ remember much from before her time with SHIELD. It was deliberate, of course; something the KGB did to her, but she still can’t help but to null on the fact. 10 years, 20 years, 30 years – how much does she not remember? Biologically, she’s 32 years of age, but a 32-year old woman shouldn’t remember being on Cuba during America’s Cuban Missile Crisis.

Her parents, at least, she remembers – to a certain extent. Well, that’s probably putting it lightly. All Natasha had was a single memory of her mother. She was probably just a baby when it happened; her mother holding her in her arms, happily giving her kisses on her cheeks. Her mother smiled down at her, with her retro red lipstick and long, brunette curls. “Mommy loves you,” she whispered. “Daddy loves you.” And with that, the memory of her mother faded into darkness.

She remembers training with a handsome dark-haired man with shining green eyes like hers. Of all those she fought in the Red Room, he had to have been her most difficult challenge. He just kept fighting and fighting, until Natasha faltered in her movements and he grabbed her with his metal arm. Again, he would continuously order. Natasha would smile and give him what he really wanted, taking full control. That is until Natasha finally managed to beat him. The memories of the man with the metal arm vanished from there.

The rest is simply a series of nightmares.

From her flashes throughout the year, the Red Room can best be described as a living hell. Natasha remembers having sleepless nights, cherishing her thin blanket for what little warmth it provided as the handcuffs dug into her left wrist. She remembers being forced to kill her friends on more than one occasion; she remembers her friends trying to kill her. A fatal night in the Siberian Forest just before her initiation ceremony is what hurt the most.

There was a wolfdog too. Natasha thinks he slept in her bed; she doesn’t remember much about him besides that. Then there was the blurred image of a woman that went by the name of Madame B. Natasha also remembers studying the battle tactics of the Germans and Americans. There was a focus on Lady Britannia and Captain America too. Such horrible fighters, she remembers thinking. Bad form. No skill to their movements. If it weren’t for the superhuman serum, they would have been killed by the Germans within moments.

What haunted her the most, perhaps, was the memory of a stillborn newborn baby girl in her arms. Blonde hair, green eyes – was the girl her daughter? Natasha has never been able to figure it out. Anastasia, that sounded like her name. Or was it Amanda? Sarah? No – Rose? Either way, it didn’t matter in the end. The baby was dead; Natasha lived on.

And Natasha might be able to accept it, if it weren’t for the fact that her life branched off in multiple directions from there. She wouldn’t realize it until her time with SHIELD, but there were multiple sides to her, sides the KGB somehow managed to create and control. One part of her mind told her that she was the young Natalya Shostakova, a woman whom joined the Bolshoi Ballet to bring honor to her family. The other side of her told her that she was the Black Widow, the top assassin the world. Nazis came to Stalingrad and killed her family. From that moment on, Nadine Roman became the Black Widow, The Red Death, The Slavic Shadow, a servant to her Motherland. With her training from the KGB and the superhuman serum in her veins, all those who dared to cross her path met the same fate: death.

In neither life did she remember her time in the Red Room. It wasn’t until SHIELD managed to capture her that she remembered bits and pieces of her time as Natalia Romanova, a little girl fighting for the mantle of the Black Widow.

!"!

2006:

Natasha is strapped to a leather chair in a white room for what’s felt like eternity. She wants to scream and shout, to rifle away at the restraints that held her down, but she knew that would do no good. Whatever substance SHIELD has forcibly pumping through her veins made her feel as if she were on the verge of dying; blurred vision, a slight ringing in her ears, shaky muscles – it was all there. The two agents guarding her, AK-47s in their hands, appeared quite amused at the sight of the great Black Widow in such a poor state. The moment she found a way out of this, she’d kill them first.

Suddenly, the metal doors at the other end of the room, the only source of color in the place, slid open. A woman in a dark blue leather suit came walking in, the clicks of her boots echoing throughout the room. A high-ranking woman, no doubt. No level-4 would ever be sent to deal with her. Even strapped to a chair, Natasha would figure out how to snap their pathetic little necks.

“My name is Maria Hill,” the woman said. Her long brown locks were wrapped in a Princess Leia-styled bun, with her pale skin causing her dark eyes to pop. A pretty thing, Natasha decided. “Director Fury has sent me to speak with you.”

Natasha only glared at her.

Agent Hill shifted her weight, confident but unfamiliar with such a situation. “What do you want to me to call you?”

Natasha’s glare deepened.

“Well, it would seem you have a lot of names,” Hill spoke, scrolling through a datapad. “Is there one you prefer?”

Hill continued to be met with silence.

Hill sighed, dropping the datapad to her side. “Want me to make one up?”

No, she didn’t. If Natasha never got to control anything in her life before, the least she’d be able to do now is choose her name.

“Natasha Romanoff.”

Hill’s eyebrows shot up. “Natasha, then,” she said. “How are you feeling?”

Suddenly, Natasha felt healthier than she ever has. “How am I feeling?” She spat, her Russian accent coming out. She looked around, laughing mockingly. “How am I feeling?” Natasha’s laughter died down in an instant. “Fantastic._Fantastika_."

“I get that you’re angry-”

Natasha’s eyebrows shot up. “Angry?” she barely whispered. She shook her head nonchalantly. “Tsk, tsk, Agent Hill …Anger is something I reserve for when a jackass cuts me off in traffic.” Natasha shot upwards forcibly, her restraints barely containing her. “I’m furious!”

Hill stumbled back, the two guards quickly rushing to shove Natasha back down and tighten her restraints.

“My people…brainwashed me. And then you people fucking brainwash me too!” Natasha seethed, her cheeks as red as her hair.

She remembers everything now; the memories, the pain, and the red that surrounded her. Natalya Shostakova, Nadine Roman, Natalia Romanova, all her lives were now stuffed into one. Her lives were mere flashes, but they were there. But there was a little something extra in her now too: feelings. The dissociation she felt before felt crumbled into a million pieces. The anger she felt towards the Americans was gone. She felt like the typical white hippy that wanted to…start over. How pathetic was she?

“You people like to think of yourselves as superior,” Natasha continued, “but you’re no better. You lie and you kill. For a bunch of liars and killers.”

“Now hold on-“

“And now,” Natasha laughed darkly, “you wish for me to join you?”

Hill took a deep breath. “We’re giving you a second chance, Natasha.”

“A second chance? Is that what you call it?”

“We could have killed you,” Hill muttered.

“But you won’t,” Natasha pointed out, with a lazy smirk. “Because I’m the perfect asset. A tool that is once again meant to be used.”

“You wouldn’t be a tool in SHIELD.”

“Then what do you call it?” Natasha questioned; an eyebrow raised. “An ultimatum?”

“We’re not forcing you to join us,” Hill said, finding it increasingly hard to remain calm in front of such an irritating woman.

“No? What will you do if I don’t? Kill me, yes?”

“No - we’ll let you live your life, as long as you’re not a threat to others.”

“If I’m not part of your organization, then I’ll always be a threat,” Natasha retorted.

“We’re giving you a chance to do the right thing,” Hill countered.

“The right thing,” Natasha repeated, mostly to herself. She tilted her head curiously. “That’s the funny thing about good and bad, isn’t it? It’s an illusion. Everyone thinks they’re doing good - everyone. Then someone comes along with their people and claims it wasn’t right, that those who went the other way were monsters.” She looked at Hill. “Do you believe me to be a monster, Agent Hill?”

Her jaw clenched. Yes, she might as well have said. “I think you haven’t ever had a chance.”

“I think I’ve always had a chance,” Natasha whispered, almost sadly to her own surprise. “I just didn’t want to accept it…And so you take my anger and make it your own.”

“That’s not-”

“Is that not why your people hid the Nazi scientists?” Natasha pointed out. “Because you wanted to use them for you own purpose?”

Hill didn’t take the bait. “You can do a lot of good, Natasha.”

“As an assassin,” Natasha pointed out. “For your own will – not the Russians’.”

“No, because you will be picking your own missions,” Hill said.

Natasha opened her mouth to snap, when she realized what Hill had said. “I’m sorry – what?”

“You can pick when and where you go,” Hill continued. “You can pick your team. You can pick your support. You, Natasha, can be whoever you want to be.”

There was a long moment of silence.

“Why?” Natasha finally asked. “Why are you doing this?”

“You can thank one of our agents,” Hill admit. “They seem to think you are better than your record shows.”

“The Hawkeye?”

It would explain why the man didn’t put an arrow through her head back in Budapest.

“No,” was all Hill said.

Natasha frowned, but didn’t comment anymore on it. “I’ll think about it.”

Hill nodded and left her to her thoughts, her guards following too.

She must be crazy, Natasha thought. Her entire time in SHIELD facilities, she has never once been left alone; Natasha was ranked a “high-risk” detainee. This must be Hill’s way of saying that she trusts Natasha to make the right move. But that led to the question: what was the right move? Her mind couldn’t make the choice.

_Who was she? _

_Who did she want to be? _

_Did she want to keep living this life of lies? _

_Did she want to keep killing? _

_Did she want to permanently leave behind her life in Moscow?_

No, she didn’t.

But people like her don’t get happy endings.

!"!

2007:

Natasha has spent an entire year with SHIELD at this point. She went to places like Germany, Brazil, Argentina, Israel, and Mongolia – anywhere but Russia. Natasha knew this was their way of testing her loyalty, but it irritated her, nonetheless. She was a traitor to the Russians, at this point; a danger that is to be hunted and shot on sight. How much more does Natasha need to give them?

To make matters worse, she is forced to have an SO on every damn mission she goes on, a woman by the name of Melinda May. That woman was on her ass over every little thing. She breaks protocol once and she gets sent on desk duty for two weeks. Desk duty! Natasha Romanoff can deal with anything but sitting on a desk. Apparently, SHIELD decided to be a bit more merciful in their tactics – who knew? Natasha made sure to know from that moment on.

“You can’t just kill everyone you don’t trust,” May had criticized.

“Yes, I can.”

“Then you’d be no better than Nadine Roman!”

“I like Nadine Roman.”

“Really?” May had huffed. “Then why did you agree to join SHIELD?”

“Because you were going to kill me if I didn’t.”

“No, we weren’t. All you had to do was live your life without being a threat to security.”

“Is that what you tell yourself so you can sleep at night?”

“It’s the truth!”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

May had shook her head in disappointment. “I know you’re sad, but don’t-”

“Sad?” Natasha had finally let her frustration show. “Don’t pretend you know me.”

“Oh, but I do. I was you, bringing pain upon others in hopes that it will relieve some of my own. For years, I was you. But you know what? I grew. And, from what I’ve seen, so have you. I don’t think you’re as dark as you let yourself believe.”

“I’m many things, but Nadine Roman will always be me.”

“I won’t let that happen.”

Natasha didn’t understand: “Why do you care what happens to me?”

Natasha never did get the answer.

By the end of the year, Natasha is allowed to go off on her own. She rises to Level 7 clearance almost immediately; quicker than Maria Hill, whom had broken records. There are talks of her and Hill competing for the rank of Deputy Director. No way in hell did Natasha want such a position, but the mere thought of Natasha one day being their boss made the agents who were cruel to her because of her past shut up when she’s around. It was delightful. Natasha hated big mouths. She preferred those whom spoke lightly; those whose words carried weight. Although she’d never admit it to anyone, she missed May. The dark-hearted Asian woman had shifted her way into the redhead’s heart.

!"!

2008:

Seeing how successful Natasha was, Fury and Hill initiate her into Strikeforce: Delta. It was strange, Natasha thought, working with the agents that captured her in the first place. She decides it’s okay, however, when she befriends its leader, Clint Barton, the very person that decided to spare her in Budapest. He was a genuinely good guy; a little dorky for her taste, but nice all around. He did his job, no bullshitting around, and that was it. Afterwards, however, he enjoyed a good party, which Natasha was more than happy to throw. Though there was one thing that Natasha didn’t understand: why he kept his distance from her. It was until a Christmas Eve party at SHIELD headquarters that she learned Clint had a fellow SHIELD agent as a wife. Natasha didn’t care – it wasn’t like she had feelings for him, but she didn’t understand why he kept something so meaningless from her.

!"!

2009:

“Happy 4th 32nd Birthday!”

Thanks to SHIELD’s analysis of her DNA, Natasha was able to figure out that her body aged a year after five years. Given that and her previous memories, she was able to deduce that she was born in 1945. Her handlers must have given her the superhuman serum not too long after her birth, allowing her to age normally until her body was fully mature at 25, the slowed-aging affects of the serum taking place immediately afterwards. Natasha wished she never mentioned it.

All she wanted was a few drinks with Clint Barton and Melinda May, the only people in the world she would call her true friends. Now, she somehow had a surprise birthday party in the middle of her two-bedroom apartment. Those that Natasha worked with in SHIELD where there, including Nick Fury, Maria Hill, Phil Coulson, Victoria Hand, Antoine Triplett, Al MacKenzie, and Davis Smith. Natasha thanked the heavens that her “friends”, she thought angrily, stopped there. She did, at least, tolerate the people they brought. She would have a talk with them after this was over though.

“I’m going to kill you for this,” Natasha whispered darkly into their ears.

May just smirked and waddled off to be with Coulson. Natasha wondered when those two clueless idiots would finally get together.

Clint, however, gave her a giant hug. “Ah, come on, Tasha! You love it!”

No, she didn’t. The last time she celebrated her made-up birthday, her trainers back in the Red Room forced her to kill Liana and Alexandria for suggesting such a nonsensical American tradition. Happiness in her life ended in death.

Fortunately, Natasha wasn’t the one shitting on the party.

“Happy Birthday,” Bobbi Morse, Clint’s wife, barely muttered, raising her glass almost mockingly before gulping down the alcohol.

Clint glared at Bobbi. “Be nice.”

Bobbi just rolled her eyes and socialized with Hill and Fury.

Natasha would never admit it, but her actions did hurt. From the moment SHIELD managed to capture her, Bobbi never once attempted to hide her hatred of Natasha. The Red Death, she thought of her. She thinks Natasha deserves to be executed for all she’s done; that Natasha’s ledger is filled with so much blood that it can never be wiped clean. Natasha didn’t necessarily disagree with her, but there was no way in hell that she’d ever give the blonde bitch the satisfaction of knowing.

Natasha sighed. Who was she becoming? She never used to care about other’s feelings towards her.

“Sorry about her,” Clint said. “She can be a bit of-”

“A bitch?”

Clint nodded glumly. “Yes.”

“Hmm.”

“She is a good person. She just doesn’t like-”

“That I’m alive.”

“No! That’s not what I-well, she-no, I mean-”

Natasha waved him off. “It’s fine, Clint. I-”

Natasha’s words wavered off at the sight of tense discussion between Hill, Fury, and Bobbi. Ignoring a confused Clint, Natasha quickly headed over to the three of them. She could hear Clint’s steps behind her, but she didn’t care; something bad has happened.

“What’s going on?” she questioned.

“Heard of Tony Stark?” Fury asked.

Who hasn’t?

“The weapons dealer,” Natasha said.

Fury nodded. “He’s just been kidnapped by a group of terrorists in Afghanistan.”

!"!

2010:

In the middle of the summer, Natasha is given the rank of a level 10 operative – the same time as Maria Hill is given the rank too. Now, she, Fury, and Hill were the top agents in all of SHIELD. A top-level operative for an American organization, Natasha mused – who knew? That same day, Fury decides to grant Maria Hill the position of Deputy Director. The two laugh over it during drinks at a lucrative bar in Germany, and Natasha decides that Maria is her friend too.

!"!

2011:

In the beginning of the year, Maria informs Natasha that they’ve located Lady Britannia and Captain America’s Valkyrie. Natasha thought that to be expected; after all, with modern technology, it was only a matter of time. What she didn’t expect was to be told that the couple were in fact alive after almost 70 years in ice. Maria and Coulson geek out about it, talking about all the different comics they read about them when she was a child. All Natasha can think about, however, is the fact that Natasha has the same superhuman serum in her blood as they did. Just how much was the serum capable of?

It’s about a month later that Lady Britannia and Captain America are de-iced and awoken. Something wrong happened during their transition and they broke out of the facility, completely disoriented and confused about the technology and new social norms of those around them. Natasha, along with Maria, Fury, and dozens of armed guards, rushed into their vehicles to intercept them on the streets of New York City. It doesn’t take long until they’re circled, SHIELD agents pushing back the crowd that was quick to form.

Threatened, Peggy and Steve got into fighting positions.

In an instant, SHIELD agents had their weapons drawn.

Natasha wanted to roll her eyes. Such overaction from both sides. Westerners were so weak.

“At ease soldiers!” Fury ordered, stepping out of his car in his black suit.

When the weapons lowered, husband and wife calmed themselves, but the tension remained evident in their shoulders.

“Look, I’m sorry about that little show back there,” Fury said. “We thought it best to break it to you slowly.”

“Break what?” Steve snapped.

“You’ve been asleep, Cap. For almost 70 years.”

Steve’s head dropped and he looked as if he were about to cry.

“Are you going to be okay?” Fury asked.

“Yeah,” Steve said. “It’s just…we had a daughter.”

“Aria,” Fury said.

Steve nodded, a tear falling from his eye. “Yeah.”

The blond man turned to his wife for comfort, to comfort her, but instead found her staring at one of the women by the black vehicles. Steve frowned, intrigued. She had long, curly red hair with shining green eyes; a spitting image of Peggy’s mother. But her pale frame was the exact muscular build of Peggy’s. There was no way…right?

Back at the vehicles, Natasha simply couldn’t believe it. How could she not see it before? Stupid, stupid, stupid! That’s why the KGB chose her. That’s why she made all those trips to the medical wing for her blood to be drawn. It all made sense now.

“Nat, what’s wrong?” Maria questioned.

Natasha doesn’t hear it though. She just kept staring at Peggy Carter, whom was looking at Natasha as if she knew her, as if she were her whole world.

_“Mommy loves you. Daddy loves you.” _

Natasha couldn’t breathe. Her arms shook and her heart felt as if it were pounding out of her chest. “Natasha are you okay?” came a distant, slurred voice; this, despite the fact, that she could feel Maria’s steady arms around her shoulders. Natasha tried to look at her, but she felt the weight of her head force her to look down, where the world around her began to spin. She tried to steady herself, only for her to fall to her knees.

Natasha felt Maria quickly wrap her arms around her waist and pull her up. She could hear the younger woman talking to her, but all she heard was the ringing in her ears. Natasha was weightless. By all the gods, her head was killing her. All she wanted to do was fall onto the ground and wait for the nausea to pass. She felt another set of arms hold her up, saw the sight of a brown-haired woman rushing to catch her before she fell.

Natasha couldn’t feel. No words could come out of her mouth. Her body felt frozen. Her feet were solid on the ground, agents holding her up, but she felt the world collapsing all around her. No words could come out of her mouth. Her body felt frozen…

The next thing Natasha knew she was awake on an infirmary bed.

“Are you okay!?” Maria exclaimed. “What the hell happened back there!?”

What the hell indeed.

“I’m fine,” Natasha grumbled.

Natasha made sure to thank Maria later for ensuring that she woke up alone with her. The embarrassment she felt was unbearable. The great Black Widow fell due to a panic attack. A panic attack. How Western of her. The hard shell she built around her was crumbling away – and it was all SHIELD’s fault.

Without another word, they make their way out of the medical wing, and Natasha immediately freezes at the sight of Peggy Carter and Steve Rogers in a tense conversation with Fury. She didn’t need to overhear to know it was about her. They ran a DNA test when Natasha was passed out; they knew the truth. Now they wanted to know her. The problem: Natasha didn’t want to know them.

Fury clears his throat at the sight of the awoken redhead, Peggy and Steve quickly looking in her direction.

“Natasha…” Peggy whispered, taking a step forward.

Natasha quickly staggered back, practically slamming Maria into the wall. “Stay away from me,” Natasha hissed, although she sounded more upset than angry. “The three of us,” she gestured toward her ‘parents’ and herself, “are nothing.”

With that, Natasha rushed out of SHIELD headquarters. To her secret apartment she went. Far, far away from SHIELD. She needed to be alone, to drink until she throws up. Because of the serum in her blood, she was unable to get drunk, but anything to try and wash away the memory of the hurt look across Peggy’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the positive feedback!  
After watching Endgame, I felt saddened by Natasha Romanoff's story: the lack of background, the lack of happiness we saw her experience. I wanted to fix that. And while I love Scarlett Johansson as the Black Widow, I felt that they should have stuck with her backstory from the comics more. An assassin born in 1928 Stalingrad that is trained by the Wolverine and the Winter Soldier and brainwashed by the KGB - how is that not intriguing?


	2. Chapter 2

The next year went by smoothly – well, for Natasha’s standards. No crazy world events; no crazy personal life events either. She just goes on her missions, trying to forget the events from not too long ago. Maria, of course, tried to get her to speak to Peggy and Steve, to get her to confront what she was holding within herself. She knew her…parents…wanted her to talk too – they attempted to contact her more than once – but she simply couldn’t bring herself to do so. Natasha just wanted to live her life the way it was before the super soldiers were found.

SHIELD didn’t make it any easier though. Such childish gossip. The moment Natasha’s little trip to the infirmary occurred, news of her true parentage shot around the agency like wildfire. The great Black Widow was the long-lost child of Lady Britannia and Captain America. It was almost comical. Agents wouldn’t shut up about it. And it drove Natasha nuts. She truly wished that SHIELD would go by the KGB’s standards just once and allow her to shoot whoever she wished.

She supposed that she should be grateful that her name hasn’t been leaked to the public. At this point, the world now knew of her parents’ survival. For months, the world was set ablaze. To them, however, the kidnapped Aria Rogers was still as good as gone. Good. It made Natasha’s job easier. But the gossip around the agency still bugged her. SHIELD was supposed to be about secrecy. What good does having secrets do if they don’t remain secrets?

Luckily, one incident with an agent named Grant Ward shut up all the gossip. Around her at least. Say what you want about her behind her back, but around her – no.

“Come on Romanoff, what’s the harm in telling me?” Ward nagged.

Natasha grunted under her breath. Ignore him, she thought, as she made her way through the Triskelion. He’ll go away eventually – right? No one dared to push her to the brink of snapping. That was just stupid. Ward was many things, but from what Natasha read of his profile stupid was not one of them.

“Are you going to make me beg?” Ward questioned again.

Okay, maybe he was stupid.

Natasha halted suddenly. “Why do you care about my contact with them?” Natasha growled, swinging around to face him eye-to-eye. To his credit, he showed little fear. “Fury send you my way?”

“Fury?” Ward looked surprised. “God no. The director couldn’t care less about me.”

Natasha’s lips curled into a snarl; her knuckles white from her grip on the datapad in her hand. “Hard to tell why.”

Natasha was on her way back through the halls after that. All she had to do was deliver the datapad to Fury and she could head back to her apartment for the night. After two weeks in the hills of Kazakhstan, she was exhausted. For a peaceful night in her bed, she could keep her temper for that long. Right? Looking at Ward’s stupid face, Natasha wasn’t so sure.

“Said by the person that is hated by 95% of the agency,” Ward shot back, following her.

Natasha could play this game.

“I can’t help if I’m naturally better than them,” she said, a sarcastic smirk on her face.

“Because of Rogers’ and Carter’s DNA,” Ward pointed out.

Natasha’s smile vanished instantly. Okay, if she spent another minute in this place, she really would slit Ward’s throat. Time to get out of here. Spotting a familiar blonde in the halls, Natasha called out: “Agent Morse!”

Bobbi paused, turning around with a frown. “Yes?” she said, tension in her voice. The two agents she was with silently excused themselves and continued along their way.

Natasha passed her the datapad. “Please, take this to Director Fury immediately,” she said. “It’s of the utmost importance.”

It really was. Kazakhs gathering uranium, Natasha thought amusedly; the Americans would probably be interested. She frowned. Would she be considered an American now?

Bobbi’s blue yes flash in irritation, before she shook herself into a sudden smile. Clint must have requested that she at least pretend to like Natasha. “As you wish,” Bobbi muttered, walking away with a mock salute.

Natasha rolled her eyes and continued on her way. Fuck Bobbi. She tried to play nice for Clint’s sake, but she’s done. She could deal with assholes; she could deal with idiots – but bitches? Fuck no. Back in the Red Room, Madame B would have those that sassed off killed in an instant. People like Bobbi wouldn’t have survived past their tenth birthday. Natasha paused in surprise. Since when did she remember that? In fact, when did she remember Madame B’s face at all?

“I’m going crazy,” Natasha muttered to herself.

Natasha shook her head and pushed away a group of people in line for the opening elevator. She just wanted to be alone. Much to her irritation, however, Ward slipped in before the doors could fully close.

“Fuck off, Ward,” the redhead groaned, almost desperately. “I’m not going to ask again.”

He shrugged his shoulder. “Hey, can’t blame a guy for being curious.”

“Curious? Is that what you call it?”

“I’m not the only one that wants to know the truth,” Ward claimed.

Natasha’s eyebrow raised. “Is that so?” she said, dangerously.

“The child of the best agents the West has ever seen…a Russian agent for over half a decade…”

Natasha narrowed her eyes. She could literally feel her blood boiling.

“Makes one question loyalties.”

“Loyalties?” Natasha growled, lowly.

Ward smiled innocently. “That’s the talk.”

Natasha huffed. “Ironic isn’t it – that you’re questioning loyalties? The man who killed his own brother.”

Finally, Ward looked as angered as Natasha was. Touchdown.

“Where the hell did you hear about that?” he snarled.

Natasha gave Ward her own innocent smile. “I have my sources.”

Ward smiled bitterly. “The Winter Soldier, perhaps?”

Well, Natasha be damned. Not many have managed to successfully turn the tables against her. It wasn’t just a professional attack, but a personal one too. Never again would she underestimate Grant Ward. The man was clearly more than SHIELD believed. In Natasha’s personal experience, that was never a good thing.

“How the fuck do you know about him?” she snapped, unblinking. Ward was a level 7 agent, but only those level 8 and above should have knowledge of his existence; level 9 to have SHIELD’s records on him.

Ward repeated her own words: “I have my sources.”

The elevator suddenly dinged on the third floor. Half a dozen agents came pouring in.

“Goodbye Agent Ward,” Natasha said, curtly. She’d take the stairs from here.

“You know, if we’re talking about irony…”

Natasha paused at the doorway. Oh, this should be good. She turned around hotly. “What?” she said, leaning against the doorway.

“Your parents,” Ward said, as if it were obvious. “For a bunch of clever super soldiers, they did very little to protect you.”

Natasha felt her cheeks redden, her hands falling to her sides. Walk away, she thought. Walk away and all will be good. But her legs refused to move.

Ward smiled, knowing he hit a soft spot. “They just left your ass in the hands of Howard Stark to fight a war that would have been won without them…as if you meant nothing.”

Before Ward could so much as blink, Natasha’s fist met his chest at full force. The dark-haired man went smashing through the glass window, sending him plummeting to the ground five stories below.

The agents in the elevator screamed, as his body hit the ground with a loud thud and they looked at Natasha in horror.

“You got something to say!?” Natasha screamed.

Silence.

No one dared to say a word; no security guard dared to go up and detain her.

Fury ordered Natasha into weekly counseling sessions for the next six months, but it was so worth it. Ward was in the hospital for almost that entire duration. After that, no one mentioned Lady Britannia and Captain America to her again.

What a delight.

As time went by, Fury even began sending Natasha to Russia in order to get information on the still-active Black Widow and Winter Soldier programs. He trusted her, she realized. Natasha was finally beginning to feel something…a purpose, perhaps. She had a lot of blood in her ledger, but maybe she could wipe it clean. Just maybe...

!"!

May 2, 2012:

On the abandoned outskirts of St Petersburg, Russia there is a gray, crumbling building. It’s a warehouse, next to a series of unfished railroad tracks under construction. In the building are Russian General Georgi Luchkov, his two thugs with Bersa handguns in their grasps, and a red-headed Russian woman tied to a chair. Natasha donned a short black dress that showed off all her curves. As the taller thug repeatedly hit the assassin, however, drips of blood fell onto the dress.

General Luchkov sighed. _“Ya ne khotel, chtoby vecher proshel.”_ [This is not how I wanted the evening to go.]

Natasha scoffed. _“Ya znayu, kaka ty khotel, chtoby etot vecher proshel. Pover’te mne, eto luchshe.”_ [I know how you wanted this evening to go. Believe me, this is better.]

The elder man eyed Natasha lustfully. _“Styd.”_ [A shame.]

Natasha flashed her signature half-smirk. Her lip was cut and she had a bad bruise just below her right eye, but, even then, no one could deny her beauty.

Luchkov’s smile slowly disappeared and he nodded at the man who was hitting her earlier. The tall man took the hint and pushed Natasha’s chair back, tilting it over the edge of a several story drop. Natasha looks down, swallowing, pretending to give them the fear they so desperately want. Who did they think they were dealing with?

_“Ya khochu znat', pochemu ty ubil Melinu.”_ [I want to know why you killed Melina.]

_“Ona vstala u menya na puti,”_ Natasha said, simply. Her head tilted mockingly, her long red locks falling to the side. [She got in my way.]

Blue eyes darkened. _“Nastoyashchiy predatel' svoyey strany.”_ [A true traitor to your country.]

Natasha crunched her eyes. _“Ya dumayu, chto vse naoborot,”_ she said. Natasha was uncomfortable with how much she meant those words. [I think it’s the other way around.]

Luchkov shook his head in utter disgust. _“Vy i Yelena oboikh.”_ [You and Yelena both.]

He walked over to the table not too far away, staring down at a table filled with tools Natasha was all too familiar with. But that’s not what Natasha was thinking about.

Yelena? Yelena Belova? The young blonde-haired goddess that was her younger Black Widow colleague? Natasha felt a strange stirring in her chest. She thought…she thought Yelena was dead. She remembers her blood! All the blood that covered Natasha’s body for days! And her still-warm body. Natasha shivered at the memory of holding Yelena’s pale hand as fire threatened to burn her. How could Yelena possibly be alive? And why did it sound like Yelena fled the KGB too? She was more loyal than Natasha was…right?

Remembering where she was, Natasha quickly tried to maintain her cover. _“Yelena? Ya dumal, chto ona byla zdes' otvetstvennoy.”_ [Yelena? I thought she was in charge here.]

The Russian man’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Yelena?” He and his goons laughed in unison, and Natasha felt her chair slowly go down back to its four legs. Luchkov’s hands lingered over the various torture tools. _“Vasha reputatsiya dovol'no progressivnaya. Znamenitaya Chernaya Vdova. Nichego, krome krasivogo litsa.”_ [Yelena? Your reputation is quite a progression. The famous Black Widow. Nothing but a pretty face.]

Natasha smiled. _“Vy deystvitel'no dumayete, chto ya krasivaya?”_ [You really think I’m pretty?]

Luchkov growled, _“Ya dolzhen ubit' tebya seychas, izbavit' moikh kolleg ot nepriyatnostey!”_ and grabbed an electric baton. [I should kill you now, save my colleagues the trouble.]

Fuck.

Natasha remembered being hit by those in the Red Room. She would rather not experience that ever again.

_“Pochemu ne ty?”_ she asked, sweetly. [Why don’t you?]

Luchkov growled and took a step towards her, when-

A phone rang and the nerdy-looking thug picked up his phone in confusion.

“Ya?” he said. His eyes widened almost immediately. He took the phone to Luchkov. “It’s for you.”

Luchkov growled and took the phone. “Who the hell is-?”

Natasha heard the echoes of Agent Coulson’s voice. “You’re at 114 Solenski Plaza, 3rd floor. We have and F22 exactly 8 miles out. Put the woman on the phone or I will blow up the block before you can make the lobby.”

The general’s eyes widened, and he quickly placed the phone by Natasha’s ear, the redhead putting her head to the side to keep it in place.

“What?” Natasha asked.

“We need you to come in,” Coulson said.

“Are you kidding!? I’m working!”

Just a few more minutes, Natasha thought, and she’ll be able to find out more about Yelena.

“This takes precedence.”

Oh, please. “I’m in the middle of an interrogation with this moron giving me everything.”

Luchkov frowned. “I don’t give everything.”

Natasha cocked an eyebrow at him. “Look, you can’t pull me out of this right now.”

“Natasha,” Coulson said, softly. “Barton’s been compromised.”

Natasha’s heart shattered. Yelena was going to have to wait.

“Let me put you on hold,” Natasha said, nodding at Luchkov.

When Luchkov attempted to grab the phone, Natasha slammed her knee into his groin and headbutt him as hard as she could. His goons scrambled to shoot her. In an instant, Natasha used her strength to snap the ropes that bound her. She darted forward and body-slammed the tall goon to the ground, his gun flying in the air before sliding on the ground several feet away. Natasha quickly brought up her foot and knocked out the goon. She rolled out of the way as the nerdy-looking man attempted to shoot her. When his bullets ran out, Natasha flipped onto her feet and launched the hidden knife in her bra at the remaining man. He fell to the ground, screaming from the pain in his chest.

“Sorry,” Natasha said, nonchalantly.

She focused her attention on the fleeing Luchkov. She caught up with him in less than 5 seconds. Grabbing him by his collar, the man panicked when he realized that her super-strength surpassed his will. Natasha then threw the man over her shoulder and walked towards where he held her mere moments ago. Ignoring the man’s screams, Natasha wrapped the man’s legs in a chain and threw him down the hole he threatened to throw her. He dangled from the ceiling, grunting in pain.

Natasha shook her head and grabbed her heels and the fallen phone. “Where’s Barton now?”

“We don’t know.”

Natasha frowned. “But he’s alive?”

“We believe so.”

At least, there was that.

“Does Morse know?” she asked.

There was a pause.

“I’ll brief you when you get back,” Coulson said. “But first we need you to talk to the big guy.”

Natasha smiled. “Come on, Coulson. You know Stark trusts me about as far as he can throw me.”

She dealt with him just after her parents were discovered, masquerading as his secretary while he attempted to fix the damage his stupidity caused. They developed a love-hate relationship during her time in his company. Natasha would even go so far as to say that there was a certain respect between the two of them. Tony was a good partner, Natasha had to admit.

“Oh, no,” Coulson said. “I got Stark. You get the big guy.”

Before Natasha could object, Coulson disconnected the line.

_“Bozhe moi,”_ Natasha groaned.

!"!

May 3:

By the time Natasha lands the craft on Fury’s personal helicarrier, she had ten things on her mind. Three of those things were Clint. Where was he? How the hell did he let himself get mind-controlled by a Norse god? And how was she going to get him back? Number four: how was she going to deal with Morse in the meantime? Another two things involved Bruce Banner, because you don’t get stuck in flying metal object with a giant green rage monster without worrying. Another three involved her parents, whom Fury would undoubtedly go to for aid. And then there was Yelena. No matter how much Natasha tried, she couldn’t get the girl out of her head.

So yeah, Natasha’s mind was in a million places.

At least, that’s what she told herself when she fell on her ass after hitting a stone wall.

“Fuck me,” Natasha groaned, rubbing her throbbing head. She thanked the gods she changed into a pair of jeans and a leather jacket after convincing Bruce to come with her. In her dress, that would have been one awkward fall.

“I’m sorry, ma’am. I-”

Above her, Steve Rogers quieted.

Natasha frowned. Double fuck. It had to be him. Natasha blinked. Of course, not – It just had to be _them_. Standing next to him was Peggy, her brown locks curled in 1940s fashion. Her lips were as bright red as they were in those childhood comics she secretly read in the Red Room. But what the comics didn’t capture was just how much Natasha looked like her. The two women were 5’10”, their bodies muscled bodies mirroring each other. Literally. Every aspect of their bodies, from their breasts to their muscle tones, was shaped exactly the same. Even their facial structures undeniably labeled Natasha the child of Carter. It irritated Natasha to no end.

“Hey,” Steve finally spoke again, offering his hand.

Natasha swatted it away, getting up on her own. “Hey,” she grunted.

“How-how are you?”

Natasha looked over the two super soldiers. They appeared to still be living in the 1940s. Steve wore the typical suit of young men in that time; a black and white flash zoot suit on his shoulders, boasted by baggy black pants. Peggy donned a wide-legged, high-waisted pair of pants with a double-sided buttoned-up shirt. Both husband and wife donned dainty, golden glasses they didn’t need. They very much stood out; they screamed: “I’m out of this time” – but Natasha suspected that they did not care. Dressing as they did gave them a sense of familiarity in a world that was not theirs.

As much as Natasha hated to admit it, she understood that feeling all too well.

“You really want to do small talk?” Natasha responded.

Steve opened his mouth, when-

“Just nice to hear you talk at all,” Peggy snapped.

Natasha felt a flash of irritation. “Same here!” she retorted. “Your voice alone makes up for 70 years of your absence.”

Peggy looked like a knife was thrust into her chest. “My absence!?” she shrieked. “You make it sound as if I wanted to be trapped in ice 70 freakin’ years!”

“Good way to get a vacation,” Natasha muttered.

"Oh, fuck you!"

Natasha smirked. "Oh, fuck me?...fuck me? Is that the best you can do?"

“Okay, okay,” Coulson said, walking up behind them. “Let’s calm down.”

"Stay out of this, Coulson!" Natasha snapped.

"Natasha," Coulson growled, warningly.

Natasha glared at him but relented and took several steps away.

Peggy was fuming.

Stuck in the middle, Steve resorted to rubbing calming circles on Peggy’s back.

Coulson took to distracting Natasha, asking her about the details of her mission in Russia.

It was then that Steve noticed something by one of the quinjets. There was a dark-haired man outside one of its platforms. If Steve and Peggy were out of place, this guy was from another millennium. He was anxiously looking around as if he were waiting or looking for someone. Glancing at Natasha, Steve realized that this was the scientist Coulson said Natasha went off to retrieve. The very special scientist. He clearly had no idea what to do.

Seeing that Natasha was distracted and not wanting to fluster him farther, Steve called out, “Dr. Banner!”

The tanned man turned around, surprise on his face. “Captain,” he said, walking over to hesitantly shake Steve’s hand. “Mrs. Brittania.”

Peggy nodded at him.

“They say you can find the cube,” Steve said.

Bruce eyed Coulson and Natasha. “Is that the only thing they say?”

Steve and Peggy exchanged saddened looks.

“The only thing we care about,” Steve assured the man.

He looked surprised at his genuineness. “This must be strange for you guys,” Bruce said, after a beat. “All of this.”

Steve smirked at the slight smile on Peggy’s face. “Actually, it’s kind of familiar.”

Bruce looked intrigued.

A few feet away, Natasha continued on with briefing Coulson about her mission. She told him about how she located one of the other Black Widows, a black-haired woman by the name of Melina. She explained how, through Melina, she got close to General Luchkov and managed to learn about several safe houses across Europe for Russia’s Black Widows and Winter Soldiers. Natasha’s mistake: blowing up those places and killing the three Winter Soldiers whom she ran into, without dealing with Melina first. The woman grew suspicious of her, forcing Natasha to kill her. It was only moments later that Luchkov’s goons came pouring into the warehouse, shooting a tranquilizer dart into her neck and knocking her out. It was then that Natasha woke up tied to a chair.

Coulson seemed to take in every little detail, every ounce of her words – especially her mentions of brainwashing. It made Natasha suspicious; of him and Fury. Something about their strange interactions with her always rubbed her the wrong way. And it gave Natasha the feeling that Fury ordered Coulson to watch her for something. Of what, Natasha didn’t know. She’d find out, though. Natasha Romanoff doesn't lose.

Suddenly Natasha heard a familiar beep coming from the commlink in her ear.

Excusing herself from Coulson, Natasha pressed down on it and spoke, “What is it?”

“Bobbi is awake,” came Maria’s voice.

Natasha’s shoulders dropped. Time for a shit show, she thought.

“I’ll be down in a minute,” she promised.

“Hurry,” Maria requested, cutting off the line.

With a heavy sigh, Natasha moved to make her way to the medical wing.

“Where are you going?”

Natasha turned around, the irritation returning. “I’m 67 years old,” Natasha said, causing Bruce to look at her strangely. Ironic. “Do I really need mummy’s permission to leave?”

Now, Bruce was looking at her like she had antlers growing out of her head. Natasha would have laughed if she weren’t so angry.

Peggy, however, was a mix of flustered and pissed. “That’s not what I meant!”

But Natasha was already walking away.

!"!

In a private room, a blonde woman laid on a cushioned metal bed. She donned a light medical robe with garbs tightly wrapped around the top of her chest. The woman maintained a neutral face, but a trained eye could see that she was in pain. That’s why the technician woman above her, a young Arab woman, injected a light dosage of oxycodone in her arm. “You’ll be okay,” the Arab informed, finishing up by checking the many machines connected to her patient. SHIELD’s technology was highly advanced; at this point, even a shot to the carotid artery could be healed within hours.

“Thanks,” Bobbi murmured.

The technician nodded. “Call me if you need anything else,” she said, leaving the room.

In the shadowy corner, Natasha stood up and sat on the edge of Bobbi's bed. They stared at each other for a while, neither knowing how to proceed with this interaction. They haven't exactly been friendly with one another, after all. But Bobbi was in pain. And Natasha wasn't so spiteful as to be cruel when someone was healing.

“How are you feeling?” Natasha eventually asked. That wasn't an awkward question, right?

Bobbi huffed, a sad smile on her face. “Considering my husband shot me in the chest with an arrow…pretty good.”

Natasha gave her a pointed look. “How are you really feeling?” she asked. Natasha didn’t like bullshitters.

To her surprise, Bobbi gave in quickly. “Like hell,” the assassin admitted.

“Yeah…I understand that.”

“Iran?” Bobbi said.

Natasha’s eyebrows shot up.

Bobbi flushed. “Clint told me. He was worried about you.”

Natasha didn’t respond, angry that Clint would spill her secrets. She didn’t trust the KGB. She didn’t fully trust SHIELD either. However, she thought Clint was of one of the few that she could trust. Well, there goes that. That left May and Maria in her circle of trust. She could live with that. Clint may have brought her into SHIELD, but May and Maria were the ones that made her feel at home. May and Maria held her heart.

Seeing the reddening of Natasha’s cheeks, Bobbi knew she screwed up. “Natasha, I-”

“Did Loki mention where he was going?” Natasha interrupted. “Where Clint might be now?”

Bobbi sighed; so much for having a nice conversation with Natasha. “No.”

Natasha nodded. “Okay,” she said, curtly. She got up. “I need to get to the bridge. I’ll see you soon.”

“I’m sorry!” Bobbi blurted out.

Half-way out the door, Natasha spun around. “What?”

“I’m sorry, Natasha,” Bobbi said, her eyes screaming with honesty. “I hated you. I knew you were brainwashed, but I couldn’t get past all the things you did…all the blood. And now,” tears began to fall from her eyes, “and now my own husband is brainwashed – and he,” Bobbi’s voice cracked, “-and he nearly killed me without so much as an ounce of hesitation.”

Natasha couldn’t believe it. In all her years, she never saw this coming. An apology. It’s not that it just came from Bobbi, but the fact that she received one. Sure, she’s gotten sympathy from May and Maria; she’s been given words of encouragement. However, Natasha has never once heard the words “I’m sorry” directed towards her. It felt…nice. Like her pain was truly acknowledged by someone.

"Thank you," Natasha whispered, the words foreign to her lips. Because, let's be honest, when has she ever had something worth thanking for?

Bobbi nodded, wiping away her tears. "I need to say it," she said. "I've been a dreadful bitch to you."

"Yeah...yeah, you have."

Bobbi laughed. "Never taking it easy, are you?"

Natasha smiled softly. "That's not in my nature."

"Well, I suppose we have that in common, don't we?"

There was a long silence.

“Come on,” Natasha said, holding out her hand. “Let’s get you out of here. We’ve got a long fight ahead of us.”

Bobbi was hesitant. “Doctor hasn’t cleared me.”

Natasha gave Bobbi her signature half-smirk; it worked every time. “Come now, Bobbi – is that really going to stop you from trying to kill Loki?”

Bobbi grinned.

!"!

In the helicarrier bridge, Steve stood next to Agent Coulson, looking around in amazement. He definitely owed Fury 10 bucks. Landing on a giant boat with planes, missiles, and thousands of men and women was one; but now the giant boat was flying, invisible in the sky. This place was like nothing he’s ever seen before. The world really was getting weirder every year.

“I mean, if it’s not too much trouble,” Coulson said.

Steve inwardly smiled. “No, no. It's fine,” he said.

“They’re vintage,” Peggy teased, walking up with Agent Hill.

She herself had already signed Coulson’s cards after he and his crew pick them up from New York. However, Coulson was yet to ask Steve, nerves taking over while talking to his childhood idol. It was cute, Peggy thought, seeing the child come out in such a sweet way in men.

“The best on the market,” Coulson confirmed, a toothy grin on his face.

Steve smiled. “So how was your tour?”

“Amazing,” Peggy said. “So much has happened since we went down. I wish we had been there to oversee it.”

“You’re here now,” Maria said. “That’s what important.”

Peggy smiled at her. “I suppose that’s true. Thank you.”

“Hey, anything for Tasha’s family,” Maria said.

“Tasha?” Peggy said.

Steve looked at Maria curiously. “You’re friends?”

“Sisters,” Maria corrected, a smile on her face. “She’s got a hard exterior, but she's a good person.”

“Can you tell us what happened to her?” Peggy asked, quickly. “Why she hates us so much?”

Maria’s smile vanished, and Peggy felt her heart drop. “I’m sorry,” the Deputy Director said, “but that’s for her to tell you. And she doesn’t hate you…”

“Sure, seems like it.”

Maria sighed. “She doesn’t, I promise. It’s just,” Maria looked uncomfortable, “she spent a long time without you guys. And I know it wasn’t your choice not to be there, but the fact is that you weren’t. And because of that, a lot of bad things happened to her.”

“Like what?” Peggy urged, desperate.

Maria gave a sideway-smile. “Just keep trying. I promise you, it’s worth it.”

There wasn’t a conversation after that. Steve, Peggy, Coulson, and Maria just leaned against the wall, watching as several dozen agents worked at their monitors attempting to locate Loki and the agents he now controlled. It was strange to them, not being part of the fight – but they knew their time in the fight would soon come.

“We got a hit!” an agent suddenly called out.

Fury, at his own area of the bridge, dashed towards the agent. “How much?”

“Sixty-seven percent match,” Agent Jasper Sitwell said. He clicked a few more buttons. “Wait! Crossmatch! Seventy-nine percent!”

“Location?” the Director asked.

“Stuttgart, Germany,” Sitwell responded. “28, Konighstrasse.” He looked over the image that popped up on the screen with a frown. “He’s not exactly hiding.”

Fury turned to Steve and Peggy. “You guys are up,” he said.

They nodded but soon realized that Fury was looking behind them too. Turning, husband and wife saw their daughter standing behind them with a blonde woman in a dark blue leather suit. Natasha had two handguns, one strapped to each side of her waist; the blonde had the same but with two electric batons. They were definitely going to be part of the fight.

“What are you doing out of medical?” Fury growled at the blonde.

“She’s going to be our pilot,” Natasha responded, calmly.

"Oh no, she's not!"

“She’ll be fine,” Natasha said. “Let her do this.”

"You realize that she's-"

"Nick," Natasha said, rather softly. It shocked everyone in the room. "Let her do this."

Fury sighed. “Fine – but pilot only.”

“Thank you,” the blonde said.

Fury nodded, but clearly didn’t like it.

Natasha looked at Peggy and Steve, emotionless. “Meet Agent Bobbi Morse,” she said, waving over to the blonde woman. “One of the best spies in SHIELD.”

“A pleasure,” they politely said, shaking her hand.

“The pleasure is all mine,” Bobbi said. “Never thought I’d meet the great Captain America and Lady Britannia. It’s an honor.”

“Just titles,” Steve said, while Peggy’s eyes locked in on Natasha. The two stared emotionlessly at each other, each trying to read the other’s souls.

“Still,” Bobbi said. “You’re legends.”

“So we hear,” Steve responded.

“Not too fond of that, huh?”

“We just did what was right,” Steve said. “We don’t need recognition for that. I myself fought with a man that was ten times the hero I ever was.”

At that, Natasha looked over at Steve, a flash in her eyes. Of what, Steve didn’t know. But he saw something for sure. He exchanged a curious look with his wife and knew she saw something too.

Natasha smiled at that. “Enough with the small talk,” she said. “It’s time to see what you’re made of.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all liked it!  
This chapter was about laying the foundation for what is to come.


	3. Chapter 3

The battle with Loki achieved mixed results. Sure, the three super soldiers managed to take custody of him; they were now flying back to base with him tied up. But there was something too simple about the whole thing. No matter how hard they tried, Loki was able to kick their asses with ease. And then Bobbi shows up with the quinjet and suddenly he decides to surrender? No. There was something else going on. Loki was playing with them. In hopes of achieving what, Natasha did not know. And that’s what makes him dangerous.

On top of that, Natasha’s ribs were killing her. She may have been caught up in the heat of the battle, but she could have sworn that she heard a sickening crack the moment Loki’s back kick sent her flying. And if it wasn’t that that did it, then it had to be when he hit her with the butt of the scepter. The Norse god was _strong_. Stronger than anything Natasha – and SHIELD – has ever faced. And it hurt like hell. She was trying her best to hide her discomfort, but it felt like the most difficult challenge she’s ever faced.

And, sure enough, her thoughts were confirmed.

“Natasha-” Peggy started.

“I’m fine,” Natasha snapped.

Peggy wasn’t letting up. “Natasha, you need to rest. You’re-”

“I said I’m fine!” Natasha growled, even as she leaned more and more against the wall for support.

“Natasha-”

Damn. She just doesn’t get the picture. “Fuck off, Peggy,” Natasha growled, flinching at the stab of pain in her chest. She sighed. “Please.”

Peggy’s eyes softened. “Fine,” she said. “But you’re going to the medical ward the moment we land – even if I have to drag you there.”

Natasha’s jaw dropped. “I-”

“I wouldn’t argue with her,” Steve said, speaking up for the first time. He narrowed his eyes and slammed Loki back into his seat, at the god’s attempt to move; Loki seemed uneasy all the sudden. “Bucky tried to avoid going to the medics once. Ended up quite literally getting dragged through camp.”

Damn her curiosity. “When was that?” _I don’t remember reading anything about that in your files_, she silently continued.

Steve’s eyebrows shot up; as if he was able to hear her silent statement. “During the push into Bavaria,” he said. “A sniper got him.” 

Natasha nodded. “In his right leg…” she said, biting her cheek.

Steve nodded; unaware of her tone. “Yeah.”

Peggy, however, narrowed her eyes. Always the perceptive one, isn’t she? Not idealistic like Steve; but realistic – just like Natasha. It would seem that they were clones in more ways than one.

Luckily, a flash of light and loud boom took the attention off her.

“What the hell, Morse!?” Natasha called out.

“Lightning Storm!” the blonde exclaimed, struggling to keep the ship steady in the fierce turbulence. “It came out of nowhere! It wasn’t on any of the radars!”

Natasha looked at Loki, suspicious.

Loki shifted uncomfortably.

“What’s the matter? Afraid of a little lightning?” Steve taunted.

Loki looked at him solemnly. “I’m not particularly fond of what comes after it,” he said. Suddenly, a heinous smirk curled onto his face. “You would know something about that,” he turned to Natasha, “wouldn’t you, Agent Romanoff?”

Natasha frowned. “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

Loki smiled, and for a moment all Natasha could see was the bright flash of the lightning. “But don’t you?”

_It was the middle of winter in Northern Siberia. Dark clouds blocked the sun, as tons of snow poured down onto the forest below. In the middle of a clearing, rows of targets were set up. A hundred yards away, were young girls in nothing more than long-sleeve t-shirt and sweatpants attempting to throw their knives at the target in front of them. Those who missed would have rubber bullets shot at their backs; those who made it would receive mere nods, though they prayed for a pair of gloves as a gift. _

_“Again,” Madame B would order continuously, even as the girls grew closer and closer to frostbite as each moment passed. _

_A young Natalia, no older than 9 or 10 years old, briefly glanced over at the facility she and her sisters lived and trained in, swallowing nervously. At the top of the tilted roof, men in black suits covering their entire bodies lined up side-by-side. And that wouldn’t worry Natalia if it weren’t for the fact that their Mosin Nagant Rifles were strapped to their backs and they now held PPS Submachine Guns in their hands. Their coats were thicker too, and their utility belts filled with endless lines of ammo. _

_Natalia looked over at her sisters worriedly, doing her best to ignore the sadistic grin across Madame B’s face. It was like the men prepared themselves for an overnight Nazi-hunting trip; like Stalin’s top commando units would do during the Second World War. Only, this time it wouldn’t be Nazis they would hunt. _

_Quickly going back to the exercise, Natalia felt a rush of religious ideology flood into her mind. Please, let there be sun, Natalia pleaded to whatever higher power existed. Let us experience anything but the hell that was bound to come. But the gods were doing Natalia no favors, for a flash of blue light suddenly lit up the sky. _

_Natalia watched as her sisters froze in despair. “RUN!” she screamed, as the bullets went flying. _

Natasha snapped back into reality with a silent gasp. Before Loki could say – or do (Natasha didn’t know what to think) - anything else, Natasha slammed a metal gag into his mouth, the straight edges wrapping around his head to lock it in place. “You talk too much,” she said, emotionlessly; her body ached from the swift movement.

Loki’s eyes gleamed with joy.

Natasha huffed and moved over towards the doorway of the cockpit, unable to stop herself from glancing over at Peggy and Steve. Sure enough, the two were looking at Natasha, concern etched on their faces. Concern, Natasha thought disgustingly. No one worries _for_ the Black Widow; they worry _about_ the Black Widow.

_“Ty v poryadke?”_ Bobbi asked, glancing back at Natasha. [Are you okay?]

Natasha blinked back her surprise – irritated at the intrusion, but willing to speak without fear of Peggy or Steve understanding. _“Loki I yego umstvennyye khitrosti…”_ she said nonchalantly, even as her heart continued to pound against her chest. She didn’t remember that. She didn’t remember. Just how much remains hidden the depths of her mind? [Loki and his mind tricks.]

Bobbi looked angered, no doubt thinking of a mindless Clint out somewhere in the world. _“Chto ty videl?”_ [What did you see?]

Natasha scowled. _“Ne pritvoryaysya, chto my druz'ya.”_ [Don't pretend we're friends.]

Bobbi’s face dropped. “I’m sorry, Natasha,” she said, turning back to the controls, and Natasha knew that she wasn’t referring to this conversation. Love is weakness, Natasha thought. Remember that. Looking back at the people who were supposedly her parents, she struggled to do so. 

_Bam! _

The whole ship shook. 

“What the hell was that!?” Steve exclaimed. 

Loki mumbled something under his gag, his eyes saying, ‘I told you so.’

!"!

‘I told you so’ would be an understatement. Within moments of the loud boom, the god Thor appeared and ripped the plug door off of its hinges. The god then merely flicked Peggy and Steve away, as he grabbed Loki and flew out to the ground below. The two hotheads naturally went after them, Natasha merely joining Bobbi in the cockpit as she circled around the chaos below. Things were not going well. Then Stark decided to show up and make it worse. 

Flashes of blue light shot through the sky and waves of energy were quick to follow. Natasha would have gone into cool things down – after all, Americans weren’t exactly known for their calm minds; a little bit cool Russian calculating would go far. But there was no way in hell Natasha was going to move. Her body was screaming at her, the edges of her eyesight beginning to blur. She needed to get back to base. And she knew Bobbi knew that too, for she was quick to scream at their people through the ship’s speakers to demand they get back to the ship right away. 

Somehow – Natasha wasn’t sure when it occurred – the situation worked out. Eventually, Tony hopped on board with Steve and Peggy, and an angry-looking Thor dragging in Loki. Natasha didn’t question it. She just silently thanked Bobbi for starting the engines and blasting off to the rendezvous point. The moment they landed at Fury’s helicarier, Natasha was quick to rush off to the medical ward. Her ribs – she just couldn’t take it anymore. The pain was excruciating; like they were trying to push their way out of her chest like they were going to crush her heart at any moment. Natasha has dealt with a lot of pain in her life, but this was something she couldn’t handle any longer. Being shot in the stomach hurt less than this. 

“Natasha?” Maria questioned, as she rushed past her and Fury; the two having been set up with a row of guards behind them, prepared to take Loki to his cell. 

Natasha just ignored her, however. She’d brief her later. 

She darted towards the medical wing as fast as she could. She was positive that she looked insane at the moment – how could she not? But Natasha was finding that simply did not care. She burst through the medical wing’s doors so fast that Dr. Hussein shrieked in surprise, her patient cringing.

“Agent Romanoff?” Iman said, surprised. 

“Fix me, now!!!” Natasha screamed. She nearly cried again as she threw off her jacket and shirt. So much pain. Iman was clearly about to question her further – that is until she caught sight of Natasha’s bare chest. Natasha was no expert in the medical field, but she knew a horrified look when she saw one. And she was _horrified_. Not a doctor with good bedside manners, Natasha mused as Iman guided her to a bed for further examination; her other patient long forgotten. 

Natasha hesitantly tilted her head down, and her eyes widened when she saw her broken form. There were parts of her ribs sticking out of her chest, just a thin layer of serum-generated skin covering it. Her right rib was tilted awkwardly too. On top of that, there was a dark purple bruise that would have normally been healed within an hour. So yes, Natasha was seriously hurt. 

“_derr`mo_,” Natasha groaned, letting the back of her head hit the pillow. 

“The serum made your bones grow back too quickly,” Iman explained, going over her crooked chest as softly as possible. Even that made Natasha flinch, though. “I need to reset them.” 

Oh, that’s going to feel nice. Once more, because of the serum, anesthesia nor pain medication didn’t work on Natasha. She’s going to be awake to feel every crack in her chest. 

Iman left the room briefly, coming back with a large machine on wheels and four technicians rolling it behind her. The doctor set it to the side of Natasha’s bed, its long arms pointed at Natasha’s chest. The group sterilized Natasha’s chest and the area and set up the machine, but no one said a word – even after they restrained her.

“What is this going to entail?” Natasha asked, nervously. She’s only ever been to a SHIELD medical facility twice; once when she was shot, and the other being her time in the mental rehabilitation center. More often than not, Natasha was able to take care of her wounds herself.

Iman looked at her grimly. “Cutting your chest open and forcing the ribs back into place.” Natasha’s heart pounded. “Nice.”  
  
“We also need to make sure your lungs weren’t punctured.” 

Natasha closed her eyes. “Great.”

“Are you ready?” Iman asked. 

“Just do it,” Natasha grunted. She just wanted the pain to go away. And she didn’t want to stay in here any longer than she needed to.

Iman nodded and stuck a towel in her mouth. “You’ll want this,” she said, worriedly; she knew how proud Natasha was. She then flicked her hand at a male technician. He too nodded and activated the machine, its hands making their way to each side of her chest. Iman tightened her restraints, and Natasha’s heart stopped. Then the machine touched her body. 

Natasha screamed, the towel doing little to disguise the noise.

!"!

In a dark section of the helicarrier, Loki stood now free from his cuffs in a large class cell held by hydraulic rigs. He walked around it slowly, condescendingly. As if this could hold me, Loki’s body screamed. I’m here because I want to be. And Fury knew that to be the truth. What he didn’t understand though was why?

Narrowing his eyes, Fury walks up the control panel of the cell. “In case it's unclear,” he growled. “You try to escape. You so much as scratch that glass…” 

Fury pressed a button that opened up a hatch underneath Loki's cell. Loki peered as much as he could from the glass. Without seeing, the sounds of gusting wind would make any man faint from fear. Not a god, though. Loki just smiled, darkly. Both men knew who was in control of the situation, and it sure wasn’t Fury.

Fury doesn’t care. He just needed the god in line long enough to locate the tesseract.  
“Thirty thousand feet, straight down in a steel trap – understand how that works?”

Loki smiled. “It's an impressive cage, Director – I must admit. Not built, I think, for me.”

Fury nodded. “Built for something a lot stronger than you.”

Loki looked into the monitor, knowing full well that Fury’s new team was watching. “oh, I’ve heard.” He laughed. “You must be very desperate.”

“You still an unmatchable force, threaten my world with war, and harmed my best agent,” Fury said. “Yes, you have made me very desperate.”

“Best agent? Oh, how Miss Romanoff would love to hear that,” Loki said. “How is she feeling? I do regret hitting her so hard. I forget that you mortals are far too fragile for Asgardian play.”

Fury stiffened. What was Loki playing at? “She’ll live.”

“Good, good. She’s the perfect weapon for you after all, isn’t she? It would be such a shame if she died.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Loki smirked. “Of course, not.” He circled his cell again, menacingly. He looked at the monitor once more. “Such a shame to have your only child being used once more. I suppose monsters have more than one form.”

Back in the intelligence briefing room, Steve watched the monitor until it went black. Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, a mix of feelings washed over him. Anger. Sadness. Confusion. Looking at Thor, though, he knew he wasn’t the only one torn apart. Thor didn’t even look at the monitor once; just stood behind Peggy, listening, his heart taking him in two different directions. Steve felt for him. It couldn’t be easy seeing your brother go so far down the wrong path.

Bruce eventually smiled. “He really grows on you, doesn’t he?”

“He used to be different,” Thor muttered sadly.

Peggy, for one, had a different thought on her mind. “What the hell did he mean when he said monsters have more than one form?” she growled; getting out of her seat, hands on the table.

Maria blinked. “I don’t know.”

“Hill, I am in no mood for your spy games!” Peggy snapped.

Maria raised her hands. “I don’t know,” she said desperately. “I really don’t.”

“Hill, I swear to whatever god there is-”

“If I knew something was happening with Natasha, I would say something!”

Peggy bit her cheek. “Then why don’t I believe you?” she questioned.

Maria’s body told her she was being honest, but something about her eyes said that every word spoken was a lie. And that made Peggy furious. If Natasha has already been through hell, why would Maria – a supposed friend of hers – allow for more of it to continue?

Maria looked at the ground, unable to meet her eyes. “I don’t know,” she whispered.

Steve held Peggy’s wrist, rubbing soft circles into it. “Loki’s going to drag this out. So, Thor, what’s his play?”

Thor rubbed his chin. “He has an army called the Chitauri. They're not of Asgard or any world known. He means to lead them against your people. They will win him the earth. In return, I suspect, for the Tesseract.”

Steve’s eyes widened. “An army? From outer space?”

“This keeps getting better and better,” Peggy snarked, mind still on the mysteries that surround her daughter. 

Bruce looked at her. “Not fighting Germans anymore.”

“I almost wish we were.”

“I feel like that’s an understatement,” Steve said.

“I guess now we know why he needs Erik Selvig,” Bruce continued. “He’s building another portal.”

Thor frowned. “Selvig?”

Banner nodded. “Yeah, he’s an astrophysicist – best in the world.”

Thor shook his head “He's a friend.”

The punches just kept coming.

Steve looked over to the side and saw Bobbi at one of the monitors, attempting to locate her husband – just as all the other analysts in the flight deck were doing too. She knew him best, but clearly not well enough. Steve felt rather sorry for her as well. Parents who vanished from their daughter’s life for 70 years; a brother fighting against his own; a scientist who could quite literally kill with anger; a wife searching for her lost husband. This team was a special kind of broken.

Bruce sighed. “Iridium – what did they need the Iridium for?”

At that moment, Tony walked in next to Coulson. “It’s a stabilizing agent,” he said. Looking at Coulson, he said, “I’ll fly you there. Keep the love alive.” Referencing the Iridium, he said, “Means the portal won’t collapse on itself like it did at SHIELD.”

Tony walked over to the muscly Thor and patted his chest. “No hard feelings, Point Break? You’ve got a mean swing.”

Thor looked confused; just as Peggy and Steve were. Why couldn’t they understand just one reference in the modern world?

Tony looked back at Bruce. “Also, it means the portal can open as wide, and stay open as long, as Loki wants.” He frowned. “Oh, Agent Hill – some woman came by. Said something about Agent Romanoff passing out during surgery?”

The woman frowned, her guard dropping. “Is she okay?”

Peggy looked at Steve worriedly.

Tony shrugged. “How the hell would I know?”

Maria grit her teeth. “Well, what else did the woman say?”

“Just to tell you that she passed out,” Tony said, “which I believe I am doing. Mission accomplished.”

Maria rolled her eyes. “Always a help,” she said sarcastically, and walked out of the room; undoubtedly, to check on Romanoff. Steve and Peggy would have followed her, but they doubted that Natasha would appreciate their presence.

Tony smiled, looking at Peggy and Steve proudly. “I think that’s the nicest thing she’s ever said to me.”

Peggy’s eyes crunched together; tempted to snark but remaining silent.

Tony suddenly shot his hand forward. “Uh, raise the mid-mast, ship the topsails!” he exclaimed. “That man is playing GALAGA! Thought we wouldn't notice. But we did.”

Peggy looked at Steve confusedly. “GALAGA…?”

Steve shrugged. He understood less than 10% of what was going on. On this, he wasn’t even going to try.

Tony looked around Fury’s long row of monitors. Covering one eye, he asked, “How does Fury do this?”

“I’m guessing he turns,” Peggy said, irritated by this clone of Howard.

Tony looks around the monitors and places a button size hacking plant under Fury's desk, without anyone noticing. “Well, that sounds exhausting,” he sighed. He turned around, clapping his hands together. “The rest of the raw materials, Agent Barton can get his hands on pretty easily. Only major component he still needs is a power source. A high energy density, something to kick start the cube.”

When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics?” Steve asked. He did plenty of reading on his old friends and their lives after the war, and there was nothing on Tony getting involved in astrophysics.

Tony tilted his head. “Last night,” he said, sounding an awful lot like Peggy. If only they knew, Steve mused. “The packet, Selvig's notes, the Extraction Theory papers. Am I the only one who did the reading?”

Steve frowned. “Does Loki need any particular kind of power source?”

“He's got to heat the cube to a hundred and twenty million Kelvin just to break through the Coulomb barrier,” Bruce said.

“Unless Selvig has figured out how to stabilize the quantum tunneling effect,” Tony pointed out.

Bruce nodded, looking excited. “Well, if he could do that, he could achieve Heavy Ion Fusion at any reactor on the planet.”

“Finally, someone who speaks English,” Tony exasperated.

Steve frowned. “Is that what just happened?”

“Don’t ask me – I flunked science,” Peggy muttered, shaking her head.

Tony and Banner shook hands. There was a glimmer in their eyes shines as the mutual respect for each other showed. They came from very different walks of life, but their lives intersect in more ways than one.

“It's good to meet you, Dr. Banner,” Tony said. “Your work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled. And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.”

Bruce’s hand dropped, frowning. “Thanks.”

Fury walked in. “Dr. Banner is only here to track the cube,” he said, turning to Tony. “I was hoping you might join him.”

Steve said, “Let's start with that stick of his. It may be magical, but it works an awful lot like a HYDRA weapon.”

Fury bit his lip. “I don't know about that, but it is powered by the cube. And I'd like to know how Loki used it to turn two of the sharpest men I know into his personal flying monkeys.”

Thor frowned. “Monkeys? I do not understand.”

Steve’s hand shot up. “I do!” he exclaimed. “I understood that reference.”

Peggy rolled her eyes. “Congratulations,” she teased. She knew how eager he was to become accustomed to their new world.

Tony rolled his eyes, while Cap continued to look proud of himself.

“Get going on the job, Stark,” Fury sighed, snapping Tony out of his antics.

Tony wiggled his eyebrows. He was enjoying this way too much. “Shall we play, doctor?”

Banner shrugged. “Let's play some.”

“Agent Morse,” Fury called out. The blonde halted her work and walked up to the director; her head inclined. “Would you be so kind as to escort Dr. Banner and Mr. Stark to their lab?”

Bobbi nodded. “Yes, sir.” She looked back at the two men. “This way, boys.”

As Banner and Tony walkout, the GALAGA player turns ever so discreetly, watches as everyone else disperses and goes back to playing. Still, by the long table, Thor watched as Peggy and Steve looked at each other, no words escaping their lips. But there was no need for it; their mistrustful eyes did all the talking.

“What is it?” Thor questioned.

Peggy raised an eyebrow, turning her head slowly. “What is what?”

Thor looked at her expectantly. “Humans and Asgardians may differ, _but_…. there are certain things that are rather universal.”

Peggy and Steve exchanged a few more looks.

Steve sighed, eyeing Fury as he spoke to a distant analyst. “We don’t trust them.”

“There’s something else going on – something they’re not telling us,” Peggy continued.

Thor nodded. “I suspected so.”

“What’s your take on them?” Steve asked.

Thor was silent for a moment. “…That they’ll do anything to get their mission done – even at the cost of their own.”

!"!

_Iceland: a land of fire, ice, and elves. It’s easy to see why it’s considered a beacon of nature’s majesty and culture. There are green hues dancing across the night sky, glowing like a set of fancy curtains. The waves of the ocean are quiet too; they simply roll onto the Diamond Beach below. Even the cold breeze matches perfectly with the atmosphere of Christmas. _

_“Do you ever think of running?” Nadine eventually asked, breaking the long-held silence. _

_Down below the cliffside, a group of American tourists ran across the sand. They sang from the top of their lungs, dancing and singing and drinking. Exactly what you think of when the word ‘American’ is heard. Still, though, it was tempting to jump down from the cliffside and join them in their shenanigans. They looked so…happy. Nadine wasn’t sure when she last felt like that. Maybe, in her dreams in which she danced ballet. But Nadine hated ballet. _

_Yelena turned to her, a questioning look in her green eyes. “Running?” _

_Nadine shrugged, shifting in the silky moss. “You know…get away from all this: the secrets.” _

_Yelena was silent for a moment. “No,” the blonde responded, simply. _

_Nadine felt her heart drop. “Never?” _

_“Yes.” _

_Nadine looked back at the misbehaving Americans, a soft breeze singing in the air. “Oh,” she whispered. _

_It was stupid to show emotion in front of a woman who’s tried to kill her countless times before, but Nadine couldn’t help it. Lately, she’s been feeling…strange. Like parts of her were missing. Here in Iceland, however, Nadine didn’t feel that way. In fact, she’s never felt so whole. Iceland was, quite simply, a magical island. Nothing could compare to the peace of the countryside. Absolutely nothing. _

_Yelena saw her discomfort and nudged her playfully. “Don’t take it personally, _Mat’ Pauk_. I’m taking your rank before I go.” _

_Now that was amusing. “My rank? In your dreams _moy malen'kiy pauk_!” _

_Yelena smirked. “We will see.” _

_They went back to watching the ocean, their hearts content. _

_“You know,” Yelena spoke up. Nadine turned to her; an eyebrow raised. “If I were to run…this would be the place to do it.” _

Natasha opened her eyes, turning her head to see Maria watching her closely.

“Hey,” she said.

Natasha blinked. “Hey.”

“How are you feeling?”

Like I’m still no closer to understanding my past, Natasha thought. Like I lost everything I care about. Like I don’t even understand what I care about in the first place. Maria wouldn’t understand that though. No one would. So, Natasha said the one thing that any agent would be able to relate to: “Like hell.” 

Natasha expected a laugh or even a simple smile. But neither came. “What’s wrong?” she asked. It was ironic given her place in the medical bay, but Maria was clearly upset about something. 

Maria opened her mouth; ready to say something, ready to spill her guts about a secret she held – but no words came out. Abruptly getting up, she said, “Banner and Stark are working on locating the tesseract,” and left the room. 

Natasha frowned. And here she thought that she was the difficult one.


	4. Chapter 4

May 4:

Iman sighed, plopping down on her office chair. First Agent Morse and the truckload of agents Loki damn near killed. Then came Agent Romanoff. Then two dozen other men from Barton’s raids in SHIELD labs across the globe. These past few days have been endless. And merciless. She could deal with a lot of things, but death was something she still struggled with.

Iman plopped her head on her desk. Then again, she thought, Barton is going to have it worse. The moment they find out how to release him from Loki’s mind control, he’s going to remember everything he did for the god. Twenty-four men appeared in her facility. Only two survived.

“Dr.?” came a questioning voice.

Iman grit her teeth. What now!? 

“What is it, Rob?” she asked, not bothering to look at him.

The Italian scratched his head. “Uh, Agent Romanoff is gone.”

Iman’s head shot up. “Gone?”

“She left,” Rob said. “We tried to stop her.”

Iman sighed again. The Russian hated hospitals and doctors more than anything; Iman wasn’t surprised by the outcome. That didn’t mean she had to like it though. The Russian was seriously risking her health – why Iman didn’t know. With a dark past like Romanoff’s, however, Iman never had the courage to ask for the answer.

!"!

Russians have been described as many things: cold, bitter, calculating, emotionless. The frigid Eurasian air froze their hearts, is the joke. And while that may be true, Russians are still so much more. They are calm, strong, loyal – willing to do anything to help and protect the ones they love. If they weren’t, Natasha wouldn’t have felt her heart fall through her body the moment she stepped through the door.

“What is going on here!?” she exclaimed. 

Peggy, Steve, Tony, Bruce, Bobbi, Maria, and Fury were all screaming at each other. Steve and Tony seemed to be in a personal battle with one another; something about how “special” the other was. An ego battle, Natasha was quick to decipher. Peggy was arguing with Maria and Fury about their use of the Tesseract to create powerful weapons. That, Natasha didn’t know about. Thor seemed furious about this mishandling of the tesseract’s power as well. But what caught her attention the most was Bobbi attempting to calm down an angry Bruce.

Hunched over from the pain of last night’s surgery, Natasha hobbled over to the scientist. “What’s going on?” she asked.

Bruce’s head snapped over in her direction. “Ha! Another one of you! Come to take me to my cage!?”

Natasha blinked. “No one is here to cage you, Banner.”

Bruce glared at her. “Really? So Loki’s little prison wasn’t meant for me?”

Bobbi hissed. “It was a precaution! Can you really blame us for being warry about you?”

“I was calm before you brought me here!”

“Stay calm then!!!”

Natasha wanted to punch Bobbi. Screaming at him was not going to help.

The scientist covered his face with his hands, sighing in frustration. “This whole thing is a shit show!”

Natasha hesitantly took a step forward – despite her instincts screaming at her to stay away. “Banner-”

“We’re not a team!” Bruce snapped at her. “We’re a ticking time bomb!”

Natasha sighed. “Bruce-”

Tony decided to speak up at that point. “Leave him alone, Tasha. Why shouldn’t he blow off a little steam?”

Steve pushed back the smaller man. “You know damn well why he shouldn’t! You may be smart, but you really need to stop acting like you’re so damn special!”

Shit. Natasha’s seen that look in Tony’s eyes before. This was not going to end well.

“Like you are?” Tony seethed at the super-soldier; his hard, brown eyes unblinking. “Everything special about you came from a bottle.”

Steve smiled bitterly. Tony hit at a soft spot, Natasha thought to herself. “Take off your armor and what are you?”

“Handsome, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist,” Tony shrugged.

Natasha wanted to be angry at Tony for doing little to lessen the tension but was unable to do so – because, well, Tony _had_ a point. If he took off the armor, Tony remained to be something. More than something, in fact. However, if Steve were to take away the super serum – what would he be? Nothing. Everything good in his life came from the serum; if he didn’t receive it, he would have died within five years from all his health issues.

Natasha couldn’t hide her smile. Dead. Steve would have been dead. Peggy would have gotten a different partner; never interacting with Steve past his initial training. And thus, Natasha would have never been born. Natasha’s smile grew. She would have _never_ been born. One small act and Natasha would have never had to have been trapped in the hell that people so lovingly call life.

The furious look on Peggy’s face instantly wiped the smirk off Natasha’s face. Shit. Peggy thought she was happy about this confrontation. Natasha didn’t even realize she was smiling at all. Why was she so weak around Peggy? Why did the walls she worked so hard to build around her crumble to the floor?

“Your life is so glamorous,” Steve said mockingly. “You’re not the kind of guy that would make the sacrifice play.”

Tony huffed. “Here for barely a year and you think you know everything.”

“It’s not what I know – It’s what I see right in front of me.”

Tony laughed. “Oh yeah? Well, Natasha is right in front of you. What do you see when you look at her?”

“Tony,” Natasha warningly growled.

Tony ignored her, walking up to place an arm around her shoulder. Natasha was too furious to move; she may be on Tony’s side, but if he kept moving in this direction she damn well won’t be.

“Well?” Tony said to Steve. “Well?”

Steve was silent; his blue eyes emotionless – not even Natasha, who was trained in emotional manipulation, was able to see past his mask.

Tony laughed at this. “Can’t read her, huh? What’s the matter? I thought it’s all about what you see in front of you?”

Natasha shrugged Tony’s arm. “Tony,” she growled. 

“You don’t even know her middle name, do you?” Tony continued.

Steve continued to stare at him.

“Alright, Stark,” Peggy said. “That’s enough.”

Natasha looked around. Apparently, everyone was enjoying this fight too much to continue with their own.

“Aww, look at that,” Tony ridiculed. “You need your wife to come to the rescue.”

“Tony!” Natasha growled again, closing her eyes briefly in pain and frustration – her lungs were starting to angrily pound against her chest.

“Looks like you don’t know _or_ see,” Tony shot.

“Oh, your ego is as big as Howard’s was!” Peggy snapped, jumping to defend her husband.

Tony stiffened. “Like father like son, they say.”

“Truly.”

Tony narrowed his eyes at her. He opened his mouth to respond-

“You humans are astounding,” Thor commented.

Peggy glared at him. “Now what is that supposed to mean?”

“Your world is threatened, and you fight over stupid things,” Thor said.

“We’re _trying_ to stop your brother,” Peggy said.

“Yes, by using unstable people and harnessing power from the tesseract,” Thor retorted, turning to the irritated Fury. “Good job.”

“I’m sorry – unstable!?” Peggy exclaimed.

Natasha and Bobbi glanced at each other. Honestly, Thor wasn’t wrong.

“The weapons are a last resort,” Fury defended.

“They need not be used.”

“Why do you think we’re making them?” Fury snapped. “To fight butterflies? We are hilariously outgunned! Earth might as well have no weapons at all!”

“And so you use an unstable power source to create them!?” Thor said. “Who gets the weapons, Director? You? Your people? You can’t even get along with each other! It’s not going to end well!”

“Friendship doesn’t matter!” Fury argued. “You think we got this far with it? No! It’s all about common interests! It’s what makes the world go around.”

“And do such interests allow you to be truthful with one another?” 

Fury paused. “Truth is a matter of circumstance.”

“Spoken like a true politician,” Tony muttered.

Fury snapped at him. “You think SHIELD gets to go on joy rides like you? No. We have rules, a reputation to keep up, a mission we need to complete! And we’ll do anything we need to do it!”

“No kidding!” Tony exclaimed, scrolling through his hand-held hologram device. “The amount of weaponry you’re building is insane – even by my standards! And that’s saying something.”

Natasha sighed. He broke into SHIELD’s systems. Why wasn’t she surprised?

Bobbi didn’t look as calm as she was about it. The bits and pieces of information Natasha received from the Fury and Maria made sense now. If she understood correctly, while Clint was directly responsible for guarding the Tesseract, Bobbi had led the team at the former Tesseract facility to transport the weapons made from and for it. Tony’s assertion that SHIELD was doing something wrong was a personal afront to the blonde.

Tony held his chest. “Oh, Fury,” he sighed mockingly, scrolling through the long list. “Tell me Rogers wasn’t right – tell me this isn’t inspired by HYDRA!”

That Rogers was right? Natasha looked around questioningly until a quick head nod from Peggy led her to look at a box of weapons laid across a table with the word ‘classified’ written across the box. Taking a deep breath in her battered lungs, she walked over to the weapons without so much as a flicker of pain flashing across her face. As she inspected the weapons, the image of a metal arm flashed in her mind.

“What the hell is all this!?” Natasha questioned, furious with both them and herself.

“Exactly what it looks like,” Fury responded.

Natasha took one of the weapons and fired it at the wall. It disintegrated within moments.

Natasha shook her head angrily. HYRDA. SHIELD was working with HYDRA – people who helped make her life a living hell. “What the hell else don’t I know?” Natasha snapped at Fury – but more at Maria, whom she thought was a friend. “I’m level 10, aren’t I? Why do people below me know about this?”

Maria looked down.

“It has nothing to do with trust,” Fury said. “It was only made available on the basis of who needed to know.”

Natasha slammed the gun down. “And I’m not one of them?”

“No.”

Natasha shook violently. Lies. So many lies. “What else don’t I know?”

“Nothing of importance,” Fury responded, further angering Natasha. 

“What’s your definition of important?” the redhead questioned, hands shaking.

Fury narrowed his eyes at her. “You are told what it is required.”

Natasha shook her head. “What is required,” she whispered to herself. “What else don’t I know, Fury!? How many other weapons are there!?” 

“Apparently, you as well, Tasha,” Tony said before Fury could speak. 

Natasha’s head snapped over in the billionaire’s direction. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“It means exactly what I said,” Tony snapped. He looked over the hologram. “_Yv __komanir smerti. Ty sluga Rodiny. Aktiviruyte protocol’nyy krasnyy._” He threw his hands up dramatically. “Want to translate that for me?” [You are the commander of death. You are a servant to the motherland. Activate protocol red]

But Natasha would do no such thing, for Natasha was suddenly as frozen as ice.

“What the hell did you do?” Fury whispered, backing up; his hand reaching for his holstered gun.

Tony’s eyes widened. “Woah…”

“What’s going on?” Peggy demanded.

Maria quickly reached for her communicator. “Jackson, tell me Delta Force is back.”

“Yeah, they just got back from England,” came a response. “What’s going on?”

“Get them down here immediately,” Maria ordered. “Romanoff has been activated.”

“Activated?” Peggy exclaimed.

“Lethal force, if necessary,” Maria added, before putting the communicator away and reaching for her own gun.

Peggy shook violently. “What the hell did you do to my daughter!?”

“This is exactly what I meant!” Bruce exclaimed. “Ticking time bomb!”

Bobbi pointed at him. “You need to calm down!”

“Calm down!? Not until you tell me what the hell is going on here!” Bruce screamed. “The truth! The whole truth! What are we really doing here!?”

Everyone began screaming at each other.

A few feet away, Steve walked up to Natasha; placing a soft hand on her rigid shoulder.

“Natasha?” he whispered, shaking her gently.

No response.

Steve swallowed nervously. “Natasha?”

The redhead abruptly swung in his direction. Steve staggered back. Natasha’s eyes were emotionless; glazed over like they were dead.

“Natasha?” Steve mouthed fearfully.

Natasha growled and ran straight for him. Before Steve could so much as blink, Natasha had swiped him off his feet and rammed him through the glass wall. The glass shattered instantly, two flying down to the training mat below. The trainees screamed and ran out of the way, as father and daughter landed on the ground with a thud. 

Steve’s breath was heavy. “Natasha?” he whispered.

Around them, the trainees stayed as far away from them as they could. It was Natasha, Steve realized. They were afraid of her; they knew they couldn’t beat her, even if they tried their hardest. Not good.

Natasha got into a fighting stance. “_Vremya umirat’_,” she said, a dark smirk on her face. [Time to die]

Steve blinked. What the hell kind of language was that?

Moments later, an explosion in Bruce and Tony’s lab caused Fury and his “Avengers” to fly in different directions.

Natasha charged.

!"!

In the battered halls of the helicarrier, Maria ran as fast as she could through the crowds of flustered agents. For the first time since its creation, Fury’s helicarrier shook violently; Maria struggled to keep upright. A few agents rushed to help her, but she pushed them off her. Now was not the time for pleasantries; Maria was _pissed_. She had a concussion. Natasha was activated. Bobbi and Fury were possibly dead. The helicarrier was slowly plummeting to the ground. Everything was going to hell.

“Hill, you there?” Tony’s voice came through her earpiece.

Maria sighed in relief, halting just outside the main bridge. “Stark…thank god. I never thought I’d be so happy to hear your voice.”

“Well, I’m glad to bring you some relief,” came his joking voice. Then his voice turned serious. “I need you to help me get the engine running again. Need someone to work the panels.”

Maria nodded to herself. “I’m on the way!”

Maria, with all her stealth and strength, made her way towards Stark’s location. All went well – until she made her way to the final jammed door. Maria, pushing with all her strength at the door for what felt like an eternity, appeared at the Port Side Bay. The sudden gust of wind nearly took her breath away. On the catwalk across the open sky, a group of SHIELD agents in full oxygen masks took the opportunity to shoot at her. Maria flung herself to the ground, as the bullets flew over her body. Glass shards exploded from the impact of the bullets.

“Fucking hell,” Maria growled to herself. She was going to personally kill Loki for this…

After a moment to catch herself, Maria positioned herself behind a stack of debris for cover. Ricocheting bullets flung all around her; Maria burrowing herself under the shredded metal walls. She had no shot. She was surrounded – and outmanned. But just as quick as it started, it came to an end.

Slowly crawling out of the debris, Maria’s mind registered the fact that the assailants were gone – nowhere in sight. Not good. Undoubtedly, they left to destroy the next target. But she needed to focus on the task on hand.

“Stark, I’m here!” she called out, pressing down on her earpiece. “What do you need?”

Tony flew around in his Iron Man suit to get a close look at the damaged engine. Inside the suit, he is able to observe within his viewscreen – along with the layouts. It’s bad, Tony was quick to determine. But there was nothing he hasn’t been able to fix yet.

“I gotta get this conducting cooling system back online before I can access the rotors and work on dislodging the debris,” he explained. He flew over to the stuck rotors and began pulling on them. “I need you to get to that engine control panel and tell me which relays are in overload position.”

!"!

In the lower equipment room, Bobbi was groaning. Her body ached all over. Her ears rung until they couldn’t anymore, drops of blood from them. It was one of the worst feelings she felt in a long time – even worse than an arrow through her chest. This was her _brain_: the key to everything. Even the pipe pinning her leg down felt like nothing in comparison.

“Hello?” Bobbi called out, her voice sounding like a distant echo.

Her comlink was going off like crazy. Her muffled brain couldn’t get it all, but she was still conscious enough to hear her husband’s name. The explosion – or continuous explosions, she should say; it was Clint. He was here. Here to wreak havoc. Here to do Loki’s bidding. If only she could get the pipe off her…

A sudden noise made Bobbi realize that she wasn’t alone.

Bobbi blinked. “Banner?”

Bruce was rolling on the ground in the dim light as he struggled to suppress the rage he felt, but, nonetheless, his face started to glow, changing slowly. Bobbi whimpered and attempted to painfully pull herself free – but to no avail. The pipe simply would not budge. Desperation was quick to take over.

“Bruce! Please! You gotta fight it! This is what Loki wants – and you know it! Please! We’re gonna be okay! You have to listen to me! We’re going to be _okay_!”

Bruce wasn’t responding, the moaning slowly morphing into screams. 

Bobbi flinched at the noise; her ears popping.

“We’re gonna be okay,” Bobbi continued, grunting in annoyance. She just couldn’t get herself free. “Right, Bruce? We’re going to be okay. I swear on my life I will get you out of this. You will walk, and you will never…”

Bruce glared at her. “Your life?”

His voice has the change in it – the bitter amusement that was morphing into a growled threat. Another explosion rocked the carrier, and Bobbi’s comlink grew restless with reports of Clint and other brainwashed SHIELD agents attacking the main bridge. But Bobbi could pay no mind, for Bruce turned to look at her just as the lights went out.

Bruce suddenly started to transform into the Hulk. His body shook with rage, as his muscles turned large and green. He looked over at Bobbi – as if he were searching for a reason to remain. But all Bobbi could give him was a horrified look. And so the transformation continued, and continued, and continued until Bruce Banner was no more; until the Hulk was what remained.

_“Verdammt!”_ she cried; her native language of German slipping through her Americanized mind. [Dammit]

The Hulk, sensing her, turned his head and put on the face of a disturbed monster. Bobbi jolted, finally freeing her leg from the debris and darting up the stairs without a second thought. The Hulk chased after her; Bobbi maneuvering out of his direction as an excellent agent should. She rolled under the turbine, crawling out from underneath them into a maze of pipes. The Hulk pulled them out from beneath the catwalk. Bobbi then fell under the catwalk and took the opportunity to stealthily escape. The Hulk let out a roar of rage, unlike anything Bobbi has ever heard before. Primal. Not human.

Thor, Bobbi thought. She needed Thor.

!"!

Peggy woke up to the sound of a loud roar. She could feel the helicarrier shake violently each time it appeared. Hell, she could feel the vibrations in her blood. It was one of the most disturbing things she’s ever felt. Still, nothing could beat the sight of her daughter going berserk at one man’s words.

She tried to get up. She tried to force herself to run and help Steve. But she could barely open her eyes. Everything was so loud and bright…it made her just want to sleep. Maybe, that would get the ringing in her head to go away too. Peggy felt her eyes close. Yes, sleep sounded good.

!"!

“What the hell is wrong with you!?”

The only response Steve received is pain.

His opponent promptly walks into a blazing roundhouse kick that rattles her skull. He starts to fall until--Natasha’s other foot slams into his rib cage. Back and forth. Right leg, left leg, right again. Lifting him with each kick and forcing him to remain to stand; wraps her arms around her opponent's head and holds him up as she thrusts wicked knee shots into Steve’s ribs.

“Ugh! Wake up!” Steve barely manage to force out of his lungs.

Pain explodes across Steve’s face as the redhead grasped him by his shoulders and slammed her knee into his head. Crunch. Blood gushed from his nose, and his breathing became labored. His legs felt like Jell-O. He wobbled as Natasha punished him with an uppercut that sent him into the wall. It – along with the pipe behind the drywall – exploded on impact and sent water gushing throughout the room.

He bolted out of the way of a flying sidekick and darted into the direction of the piles of training mats across the room. He bounced between the many piles, attempting to evade Natasha’s ruthless jabs and gain the high ground. Natasha pursued her target and fired foot and fist into him repeatedly like she was exercising on a heavy bag rather than striking a live human being.

Cross. Headbutt. Roundhouse kick. Knee. Hook. Jab. Hook. Jab.

“Snap out of it!” Steve grunted, dodging a slap before punching Natasha away.

Natasha was starting to get frustrated. She growled something that was along the lines of “filthy American” in a strange language – Russian, maybe? Polish? Mongolian? Hebrew? Maybe he wasn’t doing as bad a job as he thought.

That train of thought was quick to fly out the window the moment she let out a vicious snarl and charged. Steve braced himself for another slam but was stunned to find that it never came. Instead, he felt the force of a knife penetrate the side of his abdomen – and then a horrible _twist_. Steve howled out in pain. Kicking Natasha’s ankle and punching her ribs, Steve fell to the ground as Natasha too hunched over with a hiss. 

_Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop. _

The sound of Steve’s blood hitting the flooded training grounds was the only noise that could be heard. The two opponents simply stared at each other; feeling each other out, trying to catch their breaths. The pain was evident in their eyes. But what worried Steve the most was the lack of emotion in Natasha’s eyes. There was no love, kindness, loyalty – or even hatred. She was just…dead.

“You don’t have to do this,” Steve coughed out, the blood gushing out of his wound. He pressurized it hard with his hand.

The assassin tilted her head. “_Da,” _she said, frowning like Steve was an idiot. She threw her bloodied knife in the air and caught it._ “Ya delayu_.” [Yes, I do]

Steve wasn’t sure if he’s ever felt so much fear.

!"!

When Peggy woke up again it was to the sound of gunshots. She let out a soft groan, trying to open her eyes. It was a terrible feeling going against the bright light; so bad she had to squint her eyes. But she managed to see well enough to catch sight of an unconscious Fury a few feet in front of her.

“Fury?” she said, using all her strength to try and reach out to him.

Since when did she have two hands?

She couldn’t get the answer, for she passed out seconds later.

!"!

Bobbi continued to crawl under the catwalk. But then a strange sense caused her to stop. Her arms shook violently. Please, she thought. Don’t. But the world refused her pleas, for the next thing she heard, were several loud booms. The room vibrated. Rhythmically. Dangerously.

In an instant, Bobbi spun around with her gun out. Then came the blood-curling roar. The Hulk. He found her. Bobbi quickly fired a shot at the liquid nitrogen pipe and darted away, as the blast of cold hit the Hulk in the face. The Hulk roared in anger and smashed the pipe to pieces – not long enough for Bobbi to make her escape. Bobbi whimpered. The monster was coming. The monster was hunting her.

All it took was a blink of an eye for the Hulk to catch up and backhand her into the wall. Bobbi went flying, slamming hard into a water heater. Crunch. Bobbi screamed in pain at her broken leg. The Hulk roared in her face – delight written all across his angry, green face. Bobbi felt tears fall down her face. The Hulk had marked his territory.

Shaking, unwilling to meet her fate under such circumstances, Bobbi looked up with all the bravery she could muster and whispered one last, “Bruce…”

It seemed to do the trick – for a moment at least. The Hulk’s hand dropped momentarily; just for a moment. But that moment was all Bobbi needed for Thor to slam through the walls and send the Hulk flying across the equipment room and into the nearby flight deck.

“Go!” Thor shouted, jumping after the Hulk. “Get Barton!”

Bobbi just shook her head, clinging to her battered leg; her mouth opening in a silent scream.

!"!

When Peggy woke up once more, it was to the sound of another set of voices. They were close. Very close in fact. Forcing herself to open her eyes to the bright light, Peggy saw a group of SHIELD agents – Delta Force, if she remembered the SHIELD records she had read correctly – burst in and secure the room.

“Director?” one man said, shaking the unconscious director. 

Peggy closed her eyes again. She wasn’t sure if she should be offended that they weren’t even bothering to check over her, but she couldn’t care less at the moment. She just wanted to close her eyes…

“He’ll live.”

“Just a concussion.” 

“You two take the director to the safe room. We need to get to Romanoff.”

“The Hulk…?”

“Director Hill ordered us to get Romanoff, so that’s what we’ll do. We’ll deal with the Hulk next. Get your guns ready. This bitch ain't going down without a fight." 

Peggy’s eyes snapped back open. 

!"!

_Slice!_

The knife cut through Steve’s suit as he raised his forearms to block a strike to his face. He hissed in pain; blood dripping down into his armpits as he raised his hands and backed away to avoid the continuous swings. Natasha just didn’t give up – if this even was Natasha. Steve didn’t know what was going on, but when Natasha successfully backed him into the wall that was not his first thought.

Steve jumped back and forth, back and forth; away from the knife and away from the crazy lady wilding it. The sound of the knife hitting the wall caused a horrible screeching noise. Steve could even feel its tip brush through his hair. He never felt so close to death, and yet so far.

Swinging his legs around, he managed to force Natasha back in a brief tumble. She caught herself quickly. He launched himself forward with a series of punches, which she blocked with ease. It was as if he was an apprentice fighting his master. It was just…impossible to win. Natasha was the kind of foe he never faced – or even thought that he would face. The Germans were on one level, but Natasha was ten times above them.

Natasha suddenly kicked his leg and then used his body to jump up and slam an elbow into his face.

Down on one knee, Steve struggled against the knife Natasha held mere millimeters from his face. “You. Need. To. Snap. Out. Of. It,” he gasped.

But Natasha showed no signs of listening…so Steve bit her hand. Somehow - Steve didn’t know why - that was enough to surprise the hell out of the assassin; her grip on the knife loosened. Steve then twisted her arm and threw the knife out of the way. It landed in the water with a splash.

“Captain?”

Steve kneed his foe in the gut and pushed her back.

“Agent Romanoff, what the hell are you doing!?”

Steve glance at the side to see a group of stunned agents pausing by the door. Their guns were in hand, but it was evident that they were fearful of getting involved. Because of Natasha, Steve knew. Even he would stay out of this if he were in their positions. Natasha fought…like she was born to…like she knew nothing else. He was getting his ass kicked and he knew it – and they knew it too.

“Get out of here!” Steve screamed at them.

Natasha landed a solid kick upside his face.

Steve spit out some blood. “Go – _now!_”

The agents didn’t need to be told twice; the sound of their quick fleeing footsteps hitting the mid-shin leveled water echoed throughout the room.

Steve caught Natasha mid-attack and backhanded her across her face, sending Natasha stumbling way. The former soldier did not wait for her to get her bearings, instead, he attacked with more force than ever before. He hit her again across the face. The younger woman stumbled again, a bruise forming on her cheek. She put up her hands trying to stop the next attack, but her head was spinning in pain. "_Chertovskiy_-” Natasha cried as Steve side swiped her legs. She fell into the water, cursing in that damn foreign language. [Damn]

Unfortunately for Steve, he was still exhausted and losing a lot of blood from his wound. This allowed Natasha enough time to take out one of her handguns and fire at him. The first few shots he was able to dodge easily, but the next he was forced to dive behind a set of exercise machines for cover. The bullets splashed in the water around him.

Steve resorted to the simplest tactic of them all: throwing things at her.

He did it quickly. He did it with everything he could get in his sight: weights, broken poles – even one of those odd-looking exercise balls. Anything to keep Natasha from firing a direct shot at him, as she crept closer and closer to him.

Just as Steve was about to throw one more weighted ball at her, Natasha fires at it – causing it to explode and fly out of his hand.

There was nothing left to throw; no pace left to hide. The only thing left between Natasha and Steve is the gun pointed at his face.

“Natasha,” Steve whispered again.

There’s a flash across her face. A sigh on hesitation. It vanished in an instant, but that was all Steve needed.

_BAM!_ The gun went off suddenly – Steve had lunged at Natasha’s stomach, ducking under the aim of her gun. The impact of Steve hitting the redhead’s chest forced her back onto a nearby bench press. Her finger nearly pushed down on the trigger once more, but she quickly recovered from her surprise. Steve attempted to use his weight to keep her down. Natasha responded by wrapping her legs around his waist and leaning forward, so her head was down his back and her arm was wrapped around the front of his neck. And she _squeezed_.

Despite being kicked back in the face, Steve couldn’t help but feel bad. Even from a mile away he would have been able to hear the horrible crack of Natasha’s barely-healing ribs.

Hunched over in pain, Natasha grabbed her gun out of the water and prepared to retaliate – only for Peggy to pop out of the nearby hallway and send Natasha flying.

Steve sighed in relief, glancing down at the stab wound gushing blood. “Where have you been?”

Peggy glared at him, a dark bruise on her cheek aching. “Not the time.”

Steve clutched down on the wound and brought his bloodied hand up with a shake of his head. “I think it is,” he whispered sadly. His legs were starting to feel weak…

Peggy’s eyes widened. “Steve-”

Unfortunately, husband and wife had no time to speak, for Natasha, although now soaked and bloodied, had retrieved her gun.

A moment of truth. A half beat. Could Natasha Romanoff kill not only her father – but her mother too? And the answer is…a resounding yes. “_Davay poigrayem_,” she said darkly and opened fire. Bullets fly by Steve and Peggy as they rushed to a thick pile of training mats. They leaped behind it for cover, Steve landing on top of Peggy to take the brunt of the flying debris as Natasha’s bullets ate everything in their paths. [Let’s play]

“Get off me!” Peggy growled, pushing Steve off her. She mentally berated herself for not retrieving her and Steve’s shields before rushing over here.

Steve grunted but said nothing. He glanced up briefly, barely missing a bullet to the head. His heart pounded. Natasha was just standing there, firing at them, waiting them out. It was an intimidation tactic; keeping her prey at bay.

_BAM! BAM! BAM!_ The bullets were never-ending.

“Do you know what the hell is going on!?” Steve screamed above the sound of the shots.

“Your guess is as good as mine!”

Natasha was starting to get sick of the game. Slowly, she started coming around to directly face them again. Unwilling to go out in such a manner, Peggy crawled on the cold, marble floor. The deepening water caused her movements to echo throughout the large room. Peggy tightened. Amped, desperate, she crouch-ran through the training room in an attempt to get a knife lying in the midst of the chaos.

Seeing – or, more accurately, _hearing_ \- this, Steve launched over the mats and charged at Natasha. He tackled her just in the nick of time, her bullet zipping by Peggy’s back. Unfortunately for him, that meant he once again got into a fistfight with the highly trained assassin alone.

Natasha rolled on top of him, throwing a series of punches. Blocking them was almost useless; every time he did, the assassin would just find another spot to bring him immense pain. A few knees in her groin and she grunted but didn’t light up. Coughing up some blood, Steve wrapped his arms around Natasha’s and held her long enough to head butt her. Immediately taking advantage of her fall, Steve got onto his knees and wrapped his hands around Natasha’s throat. Tightly. Dipping her head into the water.

“Snap out of it!” Steve screamed, because what else could he do?

Natasha grinned beneath the water, showing blood on her teeth. “_Nikogda_!” she growled and spat the blood into his face. Natasha quickly followed with a knee to his balls and an elbow to his face. [Never]

Steve was in pain. Oh, how was he in pain. But he refused to let the assassin win. Growling, he got onto his knees and threw a punch. Natasha dodged it. Then another. And another. And another. A few knees and Natasha merely slapped them away, punching him in the throat. Steve let out a gasp, she spun around and side-kicked him in the face. He fell to the ground with a thud. A quick stomp to the head forced him on his back.

It was official, Steve thought, his vision blurred. Natasha was a force to be reckoned with. She was fire and ice and a bit of fury. It was useless to resist. She was a goddess and he alone would always be forced to bow before her. He needed Peggy. Once again, Captain America and Mrs. Britain needed to be a team.

_“Vozmozhno, velikiy Kapitan Amerika ne tak silen, kak oni skazali,”_ Natasha laughed, bending down to grab her pistol. She pointed it at the half-conscious Steve. _“Ya ozhidal bol'shego.”_ [Perhaps, the great Captain America is not as strong as they said. I expected more.]

The moment it came, Natasha was forced back by a knife suddenly knocking her gun away. A flying kick knocked Natasha back into the wall. Letting out a string of foreign curses, the assassin got on her knees and spun around, so she was behind Peggy. Peggy turned in an instant – but not soon enough, for Natalia to grab her shoulders and knee her in the face. Natasha then grabbed another pistol from her boot and re-aimed it at Peggy’s head. Sighing, Peggy knew she was left with no other options. Natasha was the better fighter indeed.

_BAM! BAM!_ The gun went off, as Peggy lunged at Natasha, the bullets landing in the wall. The impact of Peggy’s weight forced the assassin backwards and into the wall, her body cracking the wall. Natasha growled and slammed her elbows down onto the brunette’s back, adding in a few knees. Peggy, focused on maintaining control in their dead lock, flipped them over and lifted Natasha off her feet before slamming her into a treadmill. It shattered instantly upon impact, the bullet holes no longer its focus. Screaming in rage, Natasha grabbed two pieces of the machine’s debris and banged them into Peggy’s head, successfully kicking her off her.

Peggy staggered back, touching her hand to the blood dripping down the side of her head.

Meanwhile, Natasha threw her gun to the ground. She wasn’t going to kill Lady Britannia with such a weapon. She was going to kill her with her beat hands.

Before Peggy could blink, Natasha slammed her to the ground. The brunette’s face contorted into merciless pain. Natasha slips her forearm under Peggy’s neck and squeezes, pushing her down into the water. Peggy’s eyes are quick to go wide as she struggles against Natasha’s grip. She tries her best, her damn hardest just to get Natasha to flinch, but there’s no escape. Her face is getting red from the lack of oxygen; the feeling of the cold water only adding to her panic.

Then it all stopped.

The hands around her released, allowing Peggy to come up for oxygen. The sweet delight was like heaven to her lungs.

Steve’s body being thrown into her forced back down under before she could so much as blink. Panicked, Peggy threw him off her – gasping for every bit of air she could get.

“Are you okay?” Peggy gasped.

“No,” Steve said, coughing up some water and clinging to his stab wound. The water around him was quick to become bloodied.

Peggy swallowed. If they didn’t end this soon, Steve was going to bleed out…

“Za great Kaptain Amerrica and Lady Brritannia,” Natasha said mockingly, shaking her head. “Vat a zissapoinment.”

Peggy grit her teeth. Okay, she was starting to get pissed. Natasha may be her daughter, but Natasha was a real bitch.

Peggy glanced over at her husband one more time and knew that his fight was done. If they were going to get of this, it was going to be on her. Judging by the smirk on Natasha’s face, the redhead knew this too.

Growling, the two women darted forward into a deadlock. They circled around; punching, kicking, kneeing each other. It was a vicious battle of pain – not skill. Who would be the first one to fall? To submit to their weakening bodies?

Peggy managed to grab Natasha’s hands and spin around, getting Natasha’s back to face her. She quickly launched forward and wrapped her arms around the woman’s chest. Peggy squeezed as tightly as she could, trying to ignore the blood that was dripping down her face. Natasha was strong, but Peggy was stronger. Struggling to get out of her grip, Natasha screamed. Ending this, Natasha brought her legs up high and smashed them down onto Peggy’s knees. The trick allowed her grip to loosen just enough for Natasha to escape and slam her into the wall, biting her ear as hard as she could while pushing the Brit’s shoulders.

The assassin was forced to come to a sudden stop when a kick to her side hurt her just enough to gain her attention. Natasha growled and sprung onto the top of a treadmill. Peggy shot her hands into an ‘x’ formation in an attempt to block Natasha’s ruthless assault; in counter, the fierce redhead gripped around Peggy’s head and she swung around like a carousel. Unable to maintain her balance, Peggy fell to the ground and was immediately met with a barrage of punches. Never before has Peggy felt so old.

Then came a loud BANG!

Some soft of laser bolt hitting her back, Natasha flew forward and fell unconscious to the ground. 

Peggy blinked in surprise, rushing forward to keep Natasha’s head above the water. She looked up and saw an Asian SHIELD agent starting down at them, a strange-looking gun in her hands. She looked…upset. Maybe, angry too? She saw her the day they first met Natasha. Was her daughter friends with her too? 

“Want to tell me what the hell just happened?” Peggy questioned, taking notice of the “Agent May” tag on her chest.

Agent May’s breath was heavy. “Believe me,” she said, lowering the gun. “I’m trying to figure that out too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it took so long to publish this! College has been a bitch! 
> 
> As for the story, I hope you all liked it. I know Captain America is supposed to be stronger than Natasha, but I have a tough time believing that a guy with barely 4 years of fighting experience would be able to beat someone with several decades of it - especially, now that they are on even terms with the same super-soldier serum in their blood. 
> 
> Up next: Natasha finally talks to Peggy and Steve.


	5. Chapter 5

May 5:

“Natasha…”

Natasha’s eyes snapped open. She was immediately met with a shining bright light that made her flinch back down onto the soft bed in which she laid. She wanted to assure Peggy that she was fine; she wanted to apologize for what she’s done – but she was in just so much pain. Her legs hurt. Her chest hurt. Most of all, however, her head hurt, feeling as if her skull was splitting into two.

“Natasha…”

For some god forsaken reason – Natasha would never admit to herself why – she attempted to reach out to Peggy; to assure Peggy that she was alright. But she couldn’t. She physically _couldn’t_ do it. Her arms and legs were restrained on each corner of the bed. And no matter how hard Natasha tried to free herself, the restraints simply wouldn’t budge.

“Natasha…”

Natasha tried to keep herself calm. Just breathe, she thought. But it didn’t work: her heart began to pound violently against her chest and her arms and legs shook without cause. Looking up, Natasha tried to see the blurred image of Peggy to assure herself – but was only met with the nightmarish face of Madame B.

Green eyes widened in fear. “You’re not real,” Natasha whispered.

The blonde woman laughed. “Oh, is that so?”

Natasha thrashed against the restraints. “You’re not real!” she screamed, tears pouring from her eyes. “You’re not real!”

Madame B rubbed Natasha’s cheek tenderly, eyes shining with mirth. “So weak!” she taunted. “And here I thought you strong like marble.”

Natasha flinched away. “Get away from me!” she screamed. “You’re not real! You’re not real! You’re not real!”

“Natasha!” a voice screamed. Was that Peggy?

Madame B grabbed her chin and slammed her head down onto the table. “I’m as real as ever,” she whispered into Natasha’s ear. “I’ll never leave you.” Her lips trailed down the red head’s neck, where she planted a soft kiss. “Never.”

Natasha screamed.

The next thing she knew, Madame B disappeared, and she was laying on the floor in a pair of comforting arms.

“Peggy?” Natasha whimpered.

“It’s okay,” she said, tightening her grip around her waist. “You’re going to be okay.”

Ever since she was a child, Natasha was trained to read the lies of others. Peggy was no exception to her gifts. But Natasha couldn’t bring herself to care. Instead, she found herself hiding her eyes in Peggy’s neck and giving into the comfort of her hug.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“It’s okay,” Peggy promised. “It’s not your fault.”

Natasha wished she could believe her.

!"!

Giving a sleeping Natasha one last look, Peggy left the private medical ward to go check on her husband. Immediately, however, she was met with Deputy Director Hill standing outside the doorway.

“What are you doing here?” Peggy questioned, arms crossed. 

Hill twiddled with her fingers. “Is she okay?”

“Is she okay?” Peggy repeated, laughing bitterly. “Did you ever actually care about her?”

Hill’s face dropped. “Of course, I cared – I still do.”

Peggy shook her head. “For some reason, I doubt that.”

Hill took a deep breath. “The trigger words were only imputed in case she-”

“In case she what!?” Peggy growled.

“We never made her do anything against her will,” Hill said. “It was just…" the agent swallowed nervously, "in case.”

Peggy kept staring at her, no kind words coming to mind.

Hill was starting to grow desperate. “I wanted to tell her,” she said. “But Fury forbade me from doing so.”

“Tell that to Natasha,” Peggy scoffed. “She said she agreed to join SHIELD because it was better than the KGB. Right now, I’m not seeing much of a difference. And given how much she was crying and cursing your name, I don’t think Natasha does either.”

With that, Peggy left Hill to her thoughts.

Hill never did check on Natasha.

!"!

It’s been a strange few days to say the least. One day, Peggy came face-to-face with her daughter and fought a Norse god; the next, she was fighting the people who found her to save her daughter. And now, Peggy sat next to her ailing husband in a medical unit after he was stabbed by the daughter she saved. So yes, it’s been a strange few days.

As messed up as it was, though, Peggy wouldn’t have it any other way. Whatever god there is has given her and her family a second chance. A chance to get to know one another, a chance to do better. Peggy loves the thrill of fighting, but that choice to follow it cost her decades with her child. That’s not an option she’s willing to take again – especially now that Natasha told her of her past. It’s taken everything in her not to cry in front of Steve’s doctors.

The sound of Iman’s voice knocked Peggy out of her thoughts.

“Count yourself lucky, Mr. Rogers,” Iman said. “Had that knife hit an inch to the left, you would have bled out.” 

Steve frowned. “Natasha doesn’t miss.” He may not know much about her, but he read enough of her SHIELD file to know that – what little was in her file, that is.

Iman shifted. “Yes,” she admitted, “but Ms. Romanoff has been known to…_play_ with her food before she eats it.”

Steve blinked. “Oh.”

Peggy reached out to hold his hand. She knew all the feelings going through his head: anger from the lack of information, confusion from Natasha’s actions, anxiety from laying in the medical ward. The wound itself is the last thing on Steve’s mind – even if it is the first on Peggy’s. Steve may be a super solider, but he is not invincible. The fact that he passed out while being carried to surgery is proof of that. But he can’t die. Not when they just got their family back together.

Iman looked back and forth between husband and wife. Sighing, she sat her files down. “I’ll let you two talk,” she said. “Just don’t be a hero right now, okay? You need to rest.”

Steve smiled half-heartedly. “Hey, I’m feeling better already.”

Iman walked out of the door with a roll of her eyes. “So _you’re_ the one Natasha gets it from.”

“Natasha?” Steve questioned Peggy.

Peggy laughed, because _of course _that was the first thing he asked. Not anything about how long he was out, how the surgery went, or if the others were alright – but _Natasha_. Just when Peggy thought she couldn’t love him more already.

“She’s okay,” Peggy said, the laughter dying down. “For now, at least.”

“What happened?”

There was no hint of laughter anymore.

“The Russians,” Peggy said. “That’s what happened.”

Steve didn’t like where this was going. “What do you mean?”

“They’re the ones that kidnapped her,” Peggy explained. “Took her for her DNA, trained her to be an assassin, and brainwashed her so she couldn’t leave.”

Steve’s eyes widened. “Well…” he whispered, “that explains a lot of things.”

“I couldn’t get a lot out of her,” Peggy continued, anger seeping into her voice. “She was stuck between reality and whatever fucked up world they put into her head – but what was there sounded like a living hell.”

Steve looked down. Why did it sound like Peggy was blaming herself?

“You should have heard her, Steve! You should have heard her!” Peggy exclaimed. “She was married, you know? She had a daughter. Stillborn. She thinks her name was Rose. But she can’t remember. They implanted so many false memories in her head that she doesn’t know for sure. Her own daughter, Steve. Her own fucking daughter!”

“Peggy,” Steve interrupted. “You can’t blame yourself.”

“But I can, Steve. But I can,” Peggy said, a tear falling. “Mothers are supposed to protect their children – and instead, I chose to protect you.”

!"!

May walked into Natasha’s private room with a shake of her head. After finishing a long argument with Hill, she was exhausted. She still needed to talk to Fury and Coulson, though. May understood the need for secrecy in SHIELD, but she still expected a bit of decency in the agency – especially when it comes to an assassin that could kill them all. May looked down at Natasha, whom had dry tears across her cheeks and bonds holding her in place. An assassin that was her best friend.

“Hey,” May said, trying not to cry.

Natasha looked up at her with dead eyes. “Hey.”

May stared at her friend for the longest time, trying to find the right words. But nothing would come to mind. Afterall, how do you comfort a friend that was just brainwashed? That just attacked her long-lost mother and father? That nearly killed her father, too? No, comfort was something that could never be provided. But she could show the assassin that she cared. And that’s all that Natasha has ever wanted.

May took out her knife and rushed to cut off Natasha’s bonds. “I’m sorry,” May whispered. “I should have come sooner.”

“It’s okay,” Natasha whispered back, looking away. She rubbed her raw wrists. “Peggy took them off, but I guess Iman put them back on when I fell asleep.”

_Fury_, May thought angrily. She’ll definitely talk to him first. Maybe, with the help of Bobbi’s batons.

“You spoke to your mom?” May started, sitting next to Natasha.

Natasha’s lips curled in distaste. _Mom_. “Yeah,” she said. “I suppose I did.”

“How did that go?”

Natasha scoffed. “Why don’t you ask her?”

May is surprised at the venom in her tone but doesn’t let it show. “I’m asking you.”

“Why?”

“Because I care about you.” Hasn’t May always made that clear? She knows she’s not the most affectionate person, but she showed her love in different ways.

“Are you sure about that?” Natasha snapped. “You didn’t get sent by Hill to keep me in line?”

Silence. Cold, dead silence.

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that,” May growled lowly. She just spent two hours giving Hill hell for allowing Fury the potential to use Natasha’s brainwashing against her. May was _nothing_ like her.

Natasha blinked. She’s _never_ heard May sound so angry. “I’m sorry.”

“I know Hill betrayed you,” May said. “But don’t ever put that on me.”

“I’m sorry,” Natasha repeated.

“I know you are,” May sighed, sitting on the side of Natasha’s bed. “But you shouldn’t have to be. None of this is fair. Hell, it’s a million miles away from it. And I’m sorry about that. I never said it to you, but I am. I am so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Natasha said, after a moment. “Forgiveness isn’t something I deserve.”

May looked at her in disbelief. “If anyone does, it’s you.”

“No,” Natasha said, sinking into her bed with a sigh. “I don’t.”

“Natasha, who that was out there wasn’t you,” May said.

“I’m not so sure.”

May felt her heart shatter. “Natasha…”

“I’ve killed so many people, May,” Natasha said. “Men. Women. Children. The whole lot. I had no moral compass.” Natasha looked away. “Evidently, I still don’t…”

“Natasha…”

“I thought I’d be able to wipe my ledger clean. To get ride of all the red. But that’s never going to happen is it? I’m just not capable of-”

_Slap!_

Natasha held her stinging cheek with wide eyes. Okay, she _really_ has never seen May so angry. Why was it with her, though? Why does May care so much? She’s never been able to figure it out. People always have a motivation, and May simply didn’t seem to have one. It drove Natasha crazy. She’s always been able to read people and SHIELD seems to have taken that away from her.

May held her hand back. “I’m sorry,” she said quickly. “But you can’t think that way.”

That May has an ulterior motive or that she will always be evil?

“You’re a good person, Natasha,” May continued. “I wish that you would see that.”

Natasha looked down. A good person? Natasha was far from that. She killed people for a living, tortures them, manipulates them show they never see her strike. And she _enjoys _it. Good people aren’t like that. Good people are the ones that get killed by people like her. Good people are those that love rather than hate.

Natasha smiled bitterly to herself. _Like Steve and Peggy_, she thought. She should be like them, but instead she got kidnapped by Russians who turned her into the monster she is today.

“You’re a good person,” May said again. _Please, believe me_.

But Natasha wouldn’t respond.

May swallowed nervously. “Did I, uh-did I ever tell you about my childhood?” she questioned.

Natasha distantly shook her head, still in her own world.

“It’s quite a story – if you want to hear it.”

Natasha turned to May; an eyebrow raised. Now what did May’s childhood have to do with her situation?

May twitched nervously. “Is that a yes?”

Natasha’s eyes narrowed, but she nodded.

“Okay. Well, uh, when I was a kid, my, uh, mom and dad… they, uh, worked for the Chinese government,” May started, heart pounding. She was thrilled to see that she had Natasha’s full attention – but that didn’t make this any easier. She hadn’t even told her own family this story. “I don’t remember much about it. But I was a happy kid, you know? Nice house, friends, family, and dogs.” May chuckled. “Oh, man, I loved the dogs. Every time I saw one on the streets, I’d beg my parents to let me keep ‘em…They could never say no to me.”

Natasha frowned. “What changed?”

“Russians.”

Natasha felt her stomach sink.

May took a deep breath. “They sent a group of ethnic Chinese from Kazakhstan to infiltrate the MSS. They wanted some sort of military plans. I’m not sure exactly what – I never asked. But I do know that my parents had it. Soon, the Kazakhs figured out that they did too. And the next thing I knew, 7-year old me was kidnapped.”

“My parents immediately gave them what they wanted,” May continued. “I’ll never forget how surprised my captors were that their plan worked. I was too. Even as a kid, I knew: no one crosses the MSS. No one. But my parents wouldn’t have to worry about that, it turns out. The moment they handed over the plans, they were killed. And I was stuck in limbo.”

May looked down, twiddling with her hands. “You see, instead of following orders and handing it over to the KGB, they thought they would be able to sell the plans to the highest bidder instead.” She let out a bitter laugh. “So, for six months I waited every day for them to kill me. There were times when I wanted them too. Until one day, I heard a voice.” May’s lips curled into a dark smile. “They were screaming. Someone was killing them – brutally, too. The Russians had finally gotten their revenge.”

“It was a beautiful red-headed woman they sent. Everyone around me…dropping like flies. She had orders, apparently: no survivors. It was almost a relief, I admit – finally meeting death. But when everyone was dead, and she turned to shoot me…she couldn’t do it. Instead, she put me on the next plane to America, where I was met by a lovely Korean couple showing me my adoption papers.”

May smiled softly. “I hated America at first. My new parents were nice and all, but…it wasn’t the same. Though I suppose that was for the better, wasn’t it? Still…I wanted some sense of familiarity. And what do you know: I got it. Every year on the same day for ten years, in fact. The red-headed assassin would come visit me. At random places. Random times. I looked forward to it though – never knowing when my mysterious friend would show up.” May’s face fell. “It was simple talk. Like strangers getting to know each other. Because that’s what it really was; strangers getting to know each other. She never remembered me. _Never_. Not our talks, not the day she saved me – not even me. I tried to get her to, to reference everything from our pasts, but…nothing worked. It was like her mind was blank. And yet she kept coming back. Every year. For ten years…as if there were cracks in that blank exterior. Like she was trying to put the pieces together.”

“My last meeting with her was just after my eighteenth birthday. It was the best one of them yet; I got her to promise that she’d see me again – within a week, in fact. But she never did come back. I was devastated. I thought – _finally_ – the worst came. But then,” May laughed sadly, “by a stroke of luck, I rose through the ranks of SHIELD and got handed a file on a brainwashed assassin from Russia.” May smiled, a true smile that she only reserved for her closest friends and family. “My red-headed friend was alive. Brainwashed – but alive.”

May finally looked back at Natasha, who appeared to be on the verge of tears. “You’re not a bad person, Natasha. Bad things have happened to you, yes. But your heart has always been in the right place. You just… couldn’t find it.”

“You’re the one that vouched for me…” Natasha realized. All these years, she thought it was Clint; that he saw some sort of good in her back in Budapest.

“You saved me, Natasha. I thought it only right that I saved you as well.”

_For ten years you were my only friend_, May’s thoughts continued. _It was time someone was your friend as well._

!"!

Tony watched as Iman’s assistant, Rob, fitted a bionic leg brace to Bobbi. Already, her chest wound has been healed to near 100 percent success; now, with the minimal time they had left, the focus was enabling her to walk with her broken leg. They had a tough battle coming up. Tony needed all the help he could get, and Bobbi was one of the best there is (powers be damned).

Getting her husband, Clint, was an important part of the puzzle piece as well. He saw all the agents that were dragged in to receive aid from Iman and her fellow doctors. Anyone capable of that was worthy of being part of Fury's "Avengers". And why not add a bit of style to the team by getting someone with a bow and arrow? It was pretty damn cool. 

Rob, finished with assisting Bobbi, left the room to join Tony.

“She cleared for action?” Tony questioned.

Rob nodded. “She’s clear.”

“And Barton?”

Clint was currently aiding Bobbi in getting use to the bionic leg. He appeared happy, like Bobbi was his whole world. There was something off about him, though. Tony only met Clint once, but when he did Clint appeared much more open and easier going. However, he now acted closed off, as if he was hiding from something. And Tony had a sick feeling he knew what that was.

As skilled as Clint was, Tony truly does not want him around if he wasn’t 100 percent himself. Loki had a lot of influence, influence that SHIELD doesn’t yet understand (unlike Natasha’s brainwashing). The last thing Tony needed was to deal with Clint in the middle of a battle. The SHIELD agents available during the siege barely managed to subdue him as it was.

Rob glanced at the blond through the mirror. “He’ll be alright.” He smiled at the billionaire. “I have a feeling he’s itching to put an arrow through Loki’s heart.”

Tony smirked. “Good. Tell them to meet me in the main hangar in an hour,” he said, turning and walking away. “I have to get America’s favorite super soldiers on board as well.”

“What about Thor and the Hulk?” Rob called out.

Tony turned around; an eyebrow raised.

Rob shifted. “You guys are good and all, but you’re facing a literal god.”

Tony smirked to himself. “Hey, Barton isn’t the only one that wants to kill Loki!” he said, continuing on. “They’ll be there! Trust me!”

!"!

“So Loki is creating a portal to allow a bunch of aliens in to New York and you expect two assassins, three super soldiers, and you, a guy in a metal suit, to stop him?”

“Yes,” Tony said.

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Oh. Well. What could possibly go wrong?”

Tony mockingly gasped. “Even you doubt us?”

“I wouldn’t if it weren’t for the fact that one of us is recovering from a stab wound, another just recovered from Loki’s brainwashing, another had an arrow go through her chest and has a broken leg, and I’m still recovering from shattered ribs and my own fucking brainwashing.”

Tony rolled his own eyes. “You doubt us too much.”

Natasha shook her head, a small smile threatening to take over. “Since when did you become the optimist?”

“Hey, Rogers is still getting ready,” Tony said. “Someone has to take over for him.”

Finally, the smile took over. “I’ll give you that.”

Tony smiled back, but it was quickly taken over by a frown when he noticed how hunched over Natasha was. “Are you okay?” he questioned, ignoring Natasha’s protests to help her stabilize. “I thought they gave you something for the pain.”

Natasha sighed. “Nothing they have can surpass the serum.”

“Are you going to be able to fight?”

Natasha shrugged off Tony’s hands. “Don’t worry,” she said. “I’ve been through worse.”

Tony looked doubtful.

Natasha scoffed. “Try being blasted with 1000 times the normal amount of radiation,” she said. “I spent a week screaming in a hospital bed begging to be killed – even with the serum protecting me.”

Tony’s jaw dropped. “You were at-?”

Suddenly, the doors to the hangar bay swung open. Lady Britannia and Captain America came walking through in full uniform, The Hawkeye and The Mockingbird following full force. It was a team that was battered and bruised; a team that was literally blasted down from the sky. But they were strong. Natasha had to admit, the team was strong.

“She ready to fly?” Bobbi asked.

Natasha looked at her personal ship and nodded. “She’s ready for you, pilot.”

Bobbi grinned and hopped up the ramp.

Natasha watched her; lips pursed. The bionic leg brace made Bobbi look rather intimidating. A shame that she would mostly be confined to a piloting position. Then again, having someone in the sky was extremely useful.

Tony and Peggy followed her, leaving Natasha with the two men she needed to talk to most.

“How are you?” Natasha asked Clint. She was still mad at him for telling Bobbi about Iran, but she’d never kick a friend when they’re down. “Feeling, I mean?”

Clint grimaced. “Like I know how you feel now.”

Natasha smirked. “Sucks, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, it-it really does…”

Natasha tilted her head, mocking smirk disappearing. “It gets better,” she said. “I promise.”

“When did it get better for you?”

Natasha flash a brief smile. “I’ll let you know when it does,” she said. Then she thought of May’s comforting words, how they hugged each other for what felt like hours. “But it’s starting to feel okay a little better every day.”

Clint glanced at Steve and smiled. “I wonder why.”

Natasha flashed him the bird.

Clint chuckled and went up the ramp to join the rest of the team.

Steve joined Natasha. “And you?” he asked, blue eyes looking over her hunched form. “How are you feeling?”

Natasha shrugged, still staring at the ramp. “Fine.”

Fine? Steve didn't buy that for one second. “How are you really?”

Natasha looked at him and saw his conviction. She felt a sigh escape her lungs. “Like hell,” she admit. “I thought I knew who’s lies I was telling – turns out I don’t even know my own.”

“You and Peggy,” Steve said, shaking his head. “You can’t blame yourselves for this.”

“When I got recruited to SHIELD, I thought…_maybe_…things will be different,” Natasha continued distantly. “That all the blood I spilled wouldn’t be for nothing. But it feels like I’m just another country’s weapon. Like I'm a machine to be used whenever wanted.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve said. Natasha looked up at him. “I really am.”

Natasha shrugged. “It doesn’t matter anymore. The past is the past.”

“But the past always effects the present,” Steve countered. “Remember that, if nothing else.”

Natasha thought of May’s story and flashed a brief smile. “How could I forget?” But then the memory of a man with a metal arm shooting at Natasha in the Chernobyl Nuclear Powerplant made Natasha scowl. “How could I forget?”

!"!

May looked around the corridors with frustration. Fury wasn’t in the main hanger, the command center, the mess hall, or even the main communications room. She knew that the battle for New York would begin soon, so this was very strange. She also knew that because of the upcoming battle, she would have to vent her frustrations quickly.

Finally, May spotted one of Fury’s assistants. “Alberta!” she called out.

The Hispanic woman spun around.

“Where’s Fury?” May asked. “I can’t find one person that knows where he is.”

“In the morgue,” the agent answered sadly. “He wanted to visit Coulson before the battle begins.”

“Coulson?” May questioned.

Alberta frowned. “You didn’t hear?”

May’s eyes crinkled. “Hear what?”

“Coulson,” she responded. “Loki killed him.”

May felt her world shatter into a million pieces. For all the anger she held, nothing would ever make her want Phil Coulson dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all liked this chapter! 
> 
> So it was May who got Fury to spare Natasha's life all along :)  
I didn't say it directly, but in my mind the story of May's life is meant to suggest that it was May who first called Romanoff "Natasha" while she was growing up. This is why Hill appeared surprised when Natasha chose to make that her new name.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all like it! 
> 
> Warning: there is a depiction of rape about to occur in the end of the chapter. It's all in italics, so it will be easier to identify if you want to skip it.  
What happens is important, because it - along with the events that occurred at Chernobyl - will play a major role in the events leading up to Civil War.

Tony landed his Iron Man suit on the deck of his penthouse. He proceeded to go through the gauntlet, which unsuits him quickly. Tony spotted Loki on the other side of the roof. Both smiling, they walked into the penthouse. Loki held his scepter intimidatingly; Tony casually walked down the steps and towards the bar.

“Please tell me you’re going to appeal to my humanity,” Loki laughed, pausing in front of him.

Tony began to pour himself a drink. “Uh…actually, I’m planning to threaten you.”

**“**You should have left your armor on for that,” Loki mused.

“Yeah, it's seen a bit of mileage,” Tony admit, adding a bit of juice to his vodka. “You have got the blue stick of destiny. Would you like a drink?”

Loki narrowed his eyes. “Stalling me won't change anything.”

Tony put his supplies back into the fridge, shrugging. “No, no, no! _Threatening_,” he reminded him.

Loki began to circle him. “The Chitauri are coming, nothing will change that. What have I to fear?”

Tony took a big sip of his drink, flinching at the taste. _Way _too powerful. How did Romanoff drink this stuff? “The Avengers,” he said casually. He went back into his fridge to pour more juice into the mix. He took another sip. A little better, he thought. But not too much.

Loki frowned.

“It’s what we call ourselves, sort of like a team. ‘Earth’s mightiest heroes’ type of thing,” Tony continued.

“Yes, I’ve met them.”

Tony put his drink down. “Yeah, takes us a while to get any traction, I’ll give you that one.”

Tony paused for a moment. He wanted to say a million things to this smug god; he wanted to punch him in the face. But now was not time. He needed to keep stalling and keep Loki talking. They knew little about what Loki’s true plan was. Maybe if he got the god angry enough, he’ll say something he didn’t mean to.

Tony hummed. “But, let's do a head count here. Your brother, the demi-God; a family of super soldiers, two that are living legend who kind of lives up to the legend and another that is quite the bitter Russian; a man with breath-taking anger management issues; a couple of master assassins, and you, big fella, you’ve managed to piss off every single one of them.”

Loki shrugged. “That was the plan,” he said.

“Not a smart one,” Tony countered, crossing his arms.

Loki was beginning to get irritated. “I have an army.”

Tony laughed. “And we have a Hulk.”

“I thought the beast had wandered off?”

“You’re missing the point,” Tony scoffed. “There’s no throne, there is no version of this where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes and maybe it’s too much for us, but it’s all on you. Because if we can’t protect the Earth, you can be damned well sure we’ll avenge it.”

In anger, Loki grabbed Tony by the throat and flung his across the room.

“Jarvis,” Tony groaned, as Loki inched closer. “Any day now.”

Loki grabbed Tony by the throat again. “You will fall before me,” the god snarled. “All of you. Thanos himself as declared it.”

Now who the hell was Thanos?

Loki threw Tony out of the window. Tony freefell down the tower, the wind slamming against him like a punch to the gut. Tony remained calm, however, for an elevator behind Loki opened and a red pod shot out. The pod laser signaled the bracelets on Tony. The pod then began to transform into the mark VII suit. It latched onto Tony.

Iron Man flew up before he hit anyone on the ground. People looked up at him, amazed. The hero remained focused on one task, though: stopping Loki. And so, he flew back up to his penthouse to face the stunned god.

“And there’s one other person you pissed off!” Iron Man growled. “His name was Phil!”

Loki raised his spear. Before he could fire a shot, Iron Man raised his fists and fired at Loki. The blasts sent him flying across Tony’s living room and into the wall. He fell to the ground with a thud.

!"!

The Tesseract's energy beamed into the sky. The beam then formed a vortex, which opened up. A hole in space ripped open, and from it, the Chitauri Army spilled out in flying chariots, carrying energy rifles with a bayonet on the end. The Chitauri unleashed on the city. The New Yorkers that filled the streets, stare up at the sight in the distance – then _BOOM!_ The Chitauri unleashed their weapons on the city, blowing up cars and setting storefronts aflame.

Across the city, Bobbi guides _The Robin_ to a safe landing site in the middle of the chaos. Several beams shot towards them, but a few simple maneuvers by her got the ship to safety. Natasha also used the ship’s guns to shoot a few passing aliens to ensure it.

“I guess Tony couldn’t stop him in time,” Bobbi commented dryly.

Still in the co-piloting seat, Natasha shrugged. “Are you really that surprised?”

Bobbi and Natasha looked at each other, exchanging knowing smirks.

Natasha looked down and found an intersection blocked by abandoned cars and screaming civilians. “Over there,” Natasha said, pointing at the intersection’s direction. “Fly low.”

Bobbi nodded.

_The Robin_ landed free from Chitauri or civilians. The Super Soldiers quickly exited the ship, Natasha patting Bobbi’s shoulder and whishing her good luck. Clint stayed behind, needing a moment alone with his wife before the battle truly kicks in.

“You ready, Robin?” Bobbi joked.

“As I’ll ever be, Blondie,” Clint joked back. His smile suddenly disappeared. “Just promise me you’ll…”

“Promise you what?” Bobbi urged, smiling despite her confusion.

“Stay safe.”

Bobbi looked at him dumbly. “You do realize we’re spies, right?”

“Please, Bobbi. Promise me you won’t do anything stupid,” Clint begged her.

Bobbi pursed her lips. “Stupid?”

Clint looked at her expectantly. “_Bobbi_.”

Bobbi glared at him, silent for a moment. “…Hey…_you’re_ the one that shot me. I was doing fine till you turned on me.”

Clint sighed. “Please, Bobbi – just..._please_.”

Bobbi’s face softened. “Fine,” she said. “But don’t be a hero either, alright? This on Loki – not you.”

Clint nodded. “I will.” He stepped off the ramp. “I love you!”

Bobbi smiled back at him. “Love you too!” she called out and closed the ramp. _The Robin_ was up in the air moments later.

Clint watched his wife fly around the city. Dozens of Chitauri chariots attempted to blast her out of the sky, but she evaded them with relative ease as if it were second nature. It was in situations like this where she truly lived up to her name “Mockingbird”. Like how she fights, Bobbi manages to knock her opponent out before they even saw it coming and effortlessly fly away.

Out of the corner of his eye, Clint saw Natasha walk up to him. She looked worried. Clint didn’t blame her. The sound of the Chitauri making their way towards them (at the city’s center) grew closer with every beat.

“This doesn’t look good,” Clint said, eyeing the hundreds of creatures pouring through the portal with each passing second.

Natasha shrugged. “Just like Budapest all over again, huh?”

Clint huffed. “You and I remember Budapest very differently.”

Natasha smiled sadly because yes, they do indeed have different versions of that story in their heads.

“Stark better have a plan,” Clint continued.

Suddenly, Tony – or Iron Man, more accurately – flew past a set of buildings and landed in front of them.

“Must you all doubt me?” Tony mocked.

Before Clint could respond, Bruce appeared on a worn-out motorbike. He donned a simple pair of kakis and appeared rather run-down. Bruce lowered his head and hopped off the motorbike, walking towards the group slowly. He was clearly ashamed of losing control of his actions, but the encouraging smiles from the others assured him that it was okay.

Tony smiled at him. “I told you,” he said, then shot back up in the air.

“Hey,” Bruce said shyly. “So, uh…this doesn’t look too good.”

“I’ve seen worse!” Bobbi screamed through Clint’s earpiece.

Clint flinched and took it out. “Bobbi…” Clint mumbled, rubbing his ear sorely.

Bruce shrunk. “Sorry.”

Clint waved him off. “Forgive Bobbi,” he said, glaring at his earpiece as if it were Bobbi herself. He tucked it back in his ear on a lower setting.

Bruce shrugged. “Nothing I don’t deserve.”

Clint frowned. But that would mean he deserved it too.

_ROAR! _

A Chitauri Leviathan, followed by hundreds of Chitauri, turned the corner. The Leviathan swooped down, barreling down the street towards them like a freight train that keeps building and building its intensity. Bruce looked back at Steve, who nodded. Bruce then began to walk towards the monster.

“Dr. Banner now would be a good time for you to get angry,” Steve said nervously. The Leviathan was getting closer by the second. Maybe bringing Bruce into the mix wasn’t such a good idea…

Bruce smiled at him. “I’m always angry.”

Bruce turned back to face the incoming Leviathan. He held out his arms and his body began to swell, stretch. And harden. Green shot through his body. The Hulk has returned. The Hulk raised his fist and popped the Chitauri Leviathan in the nose. The creature flipped over a 360, sliding through the cement.

Iron Man, in mid-flight, extended his arm out and a rocket, ready to shoot. Iron Man fired – the rocket hit a soft spot in the Leviathan. The creature howls in pain and is completely blown away. Pieces of it catch fire and explode, sizzling as they hit the pavement. Captain America and Lady Britannia quickly raise their shields and jump in front of the Black Widow and Hawkeye to protect them from the debris.

“Stark,” Hawkeye said through the commlink. “I need a lift.”

Iron Man swooped down and grabbed Hawkeye, flying up to take the assassin on top of a building a block away.

_SHRIEK! _

_SLAM! _

_BOOM! _

Behind the family of super soldiers, civilians screamed and crashed into one another as they attempted to flee the rushing aliens. Blasts from flying chariots by the Chitauri targeted innocent civilians. One such victim included a little boy laying on top of a crashed bus, his family and others around him dead and other bystanders too scared to help him. High on instinct, Captain America was about to rush over to help – when he suddenly stopped and looked back at his girls.

“Go,” Natasha urged. “Peggy and I got this.”

Peggy looked at her, surprise written across her face.

Steve just smiled. “Should I be offended that you picked her over me?”

Natasha smiled slightly. _Slightly_ – but enough to warm Steve’s heart. “Go,” Natasha said again.

Steve smiled at her and darted off. He was quick to doge a group of shots from the flying chariots above him. He then jumped on top of the crashed bus and grabbed the screaming child. The boy calmed instantly in his arms. Captain America then smiled down at him and jumped down, throwing his shield at a Chitauri running towards them. Much to his joy, the little boy clapped; thrilled to be saved by the mystical super soldier.

Back at the drop off site, Mother and daughter eyed the endless line of Chitauri running towards them. They were mindless beings, but _huge_ – at least twice as big as Thor or Steve was. The Chitauri would be a challenge. A challenge that neither one of them have ever faced before. But then again, unknown challenges are where Natasha and Peggy thrived.

"You ready?” Natasha asked.

“As I’ll ever be,” Peggy responded, raising her shield. “Just like Germany all over again.”

Natasha raised her pistols. “Funny. I was about to say the same thing about Korea.”

With that, Lady Britannia and the Black Widow charged.

The Battle of New York had begun.

!"!

Back in the bridge, Fury looked upon the viewscreen of the Shield’s High Council, containing members of each major country. He was furious with them – even his deputy director keeping her distance from his, well, _fury_.

“Director Fury, the council has made a decision,” the British Council member said.

Fury huffed. “I recognize the Council has made a decision, but given that it’s a stupid ass decision, I’ve elected to ignore it.”

“Director, you’re closer than any of our subs, you scramble that jet…!” the Canadian member argued.

“This is the island of Manhattan, councilman. Until I’m certain my team can’t hold it, I will not order a nuclear strike against a civilian population.”

“If we don’t hold them in the air, we lose everything,” another member countered.

Fury narrowed his eyes. “I send that bird out, then we already have!”

!"!

Iron Man flew towards the largest Chitauri Leviathan yet, unleashing every arsenal on his suit. The creature opens his mouth to swallow him; Iron Man allows it to do just that. Flying in, Iron Man burst out the other end, causing the Leviathan to collapse.

Iron Man rolled down the street. The wind was knocked out of him. He may be young, but he’s not _that_ young. He can’t keep up like this forever. Where the hell was Thor? He looked up with an overwhelming sigh as a small band of Chitauri soldiers rushed him, holding up their energy rifles. Shaking his head, Tony put his helmet back on and charged them right back.

!"!

Hawkeye fired the last of his pack of arrows. Using his bow as a staff, he knocked some Chitauri soldiers, before yanking his last arrow off the dead body of a Chitauri soldier. He then knocked his arrow and dived down the building. He then fired his grappling arrow up to the side of the nearby building. Positioning himself, Hawkeye slammed into the side of the building, after which he began to climb up it.

Grunting from the effort, he yanked himself up on the roof and rolled onto the ground. His breath was heavy. He had little to reflect, however, for a group of flying chariots began to barrel down in his direction. Darting as fast as he could, Hawkeye grabbed another pack of arrows from his utility belt and placed them in his stash. And just as the chariots were about to fly the building he stood on, Hawkeye shot three arrows at once.

_Boom! _

The chariots exploded simultaneously.

Hawkeye fell to the ground, tired.

!"!

Flying into the side of the building, the Hulk held down a group of Chitauri soldiers by the face and slammed them into the building. However, more kept coming. Hulk looked up. Hundreds of riders hovered over him. Then…they began to fire energy blasts. Hulk took them as if he were running through a light rain. Blocking the stream of streaking blasts like swatting at flies, the Hulk jumped down to the ground.

!"!

Dozens of civilians are trapped in a bank. There is a strong sense of tension and uncertainty that surrounded them. Three Chitauri soldiers stood on the level above them, pointing their energy rifles in their direction. A fourth soldier worked on charging a bomb in the building. It beeped violently.

Suddenly, Captain America jumped through the window and threw his shield at the Chitauri bomber. The three Chitauri soldiers aimed their rifles for his head, but Cap took cover under a desk. He then kicked it at their feet, swiping them off their feet. Using it to his advantage, Captain America jumped over the shattered desk to headlock a soldier, while backhanding another one over the railing. Another soldier attacked him from behind and ripped off his helmet.

Cap felt his heart beat harder. The bomb was beeping faster…

“Everyone!” he screamed at the civilians. “Clear out!”

Captain America flipped over the soldier, grabbed his shield and, just as the bomb is about to go off, dived for the weapon. At the same time, the Chitauri bomber dived for the bomb as well. The two meet and Cap managed to throw the alien down a flight of stairs. Quickly, the super solider then used his shield to jump on top of the bomb. It went off, sending Captain America flying through the window. He landed hard on a Mercedes. Groaning in pain, he looked up to find several other Chitauri soldiers heading his way.

It’s never ending…

!"!

The Mockingbird has never felt more like the simple farm girl back in Southern Bavaria than now. One of SHIELD’s top agents, she faced her adversaries – including a band of rogue Pakistani pilots – with relative ease. And yet, she now flung her ship around like she was rookie pilot in a desperate attempt to avoid being shot down by the dozens of chariots chasing her.

She called out for help, but there were too many of them even for Iron Man. It would seem that the Chitahuri were determined to shoot her down. She was tempted to eject herself, but there were simply no safe places to do so. The Chitauri would shoot her down before she even hit the ground.

_BANG! _

_The Robin_ shook violently. The Mockingbird quickly grabbed a pistol hidden her boot, turning around to shoot what dared to jump onto her ship. She paused, a smile breaking onto her face. It was Thor! He raised his hammer and fired a large blast of lightning at those chasing her. They incinerated instantaneously.

“Yes!” Bobbi exclaimed in relief.

With the Mockingbird, now relatively safe for the situation, Thor nodded and jumped down to Stark Tower. “Kick his ass, Thor!” Bobbi screamed, laughing to herself. Now, the tide of the battle has really turned.

!"!

Thor side kicked Loki in the face. He went flying into the wall, his scepter falling out of his hand. Thor then walked up to Loki and forced him to the rooftop with him. The blond god grabbed the half-giant by his shoulders and forced him down on his knees. He then held down Loki's face straight ahead, forcing him to watch the city falling to ash.

“Look at this!” Thor screamed. “Look around you! You think this madness will end with your rule?”

Loki attempted to look away, but Thor’s grip was too strong. “It’s too late,” he whispered, looking up at his brother with sorrowful eyes. “It’s too late to stop it.”

Thor shook his head, releasing Loki of his grip. “No,” he said. “We can. Together.”

Loki looked at his brother, and for the first time in a long time Thor felt hope for his brother. Then…Loki stabbed him with a knife. Blood dripped down his armor. Thor kneeled over in pain.

“Such sentiment,” Loki mocked.

Grunting, Thor got up and kicked Loki in the chest. He preceded to lift him in the air. He then slammed him down, hard. Loki, bleeding, rolled over the edge of the rooftop. Thor launched forward but rolled his eyes at the sight. Loki was now riding on a flying chariot. Dozens of Chitauri followed his lead.

!"! 

The Black Widow, using an energy rifle she stole from a dead Chitauri soldier, is taken off her feet by the largest Chitauri yet. She tiresomely took it down by cutting its throat. She grabbed her energy rifle and prepared to attack again, only for her most recent kill’s friends to storm her. Hissing, she managed to kill four of them only for the final fifth to knock her on her back.

The Widow attempted to twist her way out of the alien’s force, to use her own pair of electric batons to shock it away - but it did no good. Her arms were effectively trapped under its weight; the creature was simply far too strong for her. As such, all the assassin could do was scream as it attempted to crush her chest with its foot.

“Peggy!” Natasha screamed, desperation taking over.

The serum allowed for the Widow to use her strength to hold the Chitauri off, but the way her arms were twisted did not allow for a strong range of movements. Just a little more weight being forced upon her, and her still-healing ribs would shatter instantly.

“Peggy!” Natasha screamed again, her mother nowhere in sight.

Dr. Hussein was right. She should have stayed out of this fight…She just thought that this would be the perfect opportunity to right some of her many wrongs. That the battle would allow her to forgive herself for the past. Oh, well. At least she tried. If she was going to die, she preferred it to be in the heat of battle. Dying old in bed was never for her.

_BAM!_

A shield with the signa of Great Britain went flying into the neck of the Chitauri. The alien fell dead to the ground.

Natasha gasped for her air.

Peggy ran up to her, kneeling down. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Natasha groaned, even though she very much wasn’t. Her arms donned dark bruises and her chest fared no better.

The redhead felt a soft hand on her back, as she crunched over in pain. “Natasha-”

“I’m okay,” she said. “I can do this.” Natasha closed her eyes, focusing all her energy on making the pain vanish. “I can do this…”

And she could. She was the Black Widow for heavens sake. She was strong; she was fearless. The only thing that could permanently take her out of the fight was death. The Russians failed to do that. The Americans failed. The Germans failed. The Chinese failed. The Indians failed. And the aliens will fail too. She may be weakened, but she had seven other “weakened” people with her too.

Sighing, Natasha got back onto her feet, rubbing her chest.

“You know,” Natasha gasped, breath heavy. “I thought…I thought you were going to let me…”

Peggy looked mortified. “No!” she exclaimed. “There were several of those chariots chasing me! I had to take them out before I could get to you!”

Natasha nodded.

“I’d never do that to you,” Peggy continued. _Not again…_

Natasha stared at her for a long moment, hearing those unspoken words.

Forcing herself to look away, Natasha began to closely examine the chaos surrounding her. The Chitauri now seemed focused on taking commands from Loki, who was flying all over the city in no particular pattern. As such, there was now minimal opposition left on the ground around her and Peggy. Bobbi, Thor, and Hawkeye were doing well taking out the forces in the air, but-

“None of this is gonna mean a damn thing if we don’t close that portal.”

“Our biggest guns couldn’t touch it,” Peggy pointed out.

“Well, maybe it’s not about guns,” she shrugged, gesturing towards Loki. He was angrily trying to avoid arrows being shot at him by Hawkeye. His guards kept falling one by one.

“You wanna get up there?” Peggy said. “You’re gonna need a ride.”

The Black Widow began to back up, giving herself a running start. “I got a ride,” she said. “I could use a lift though.”

Lady Britannia understood and angled her shield.

“Are you sure about this?”

The Russian looked nervously in the air. “Yeah. It’s going to be fun.”

Peggy gave her a pointed look.

“I’ll be fine,” Natasha said. “Trust me.”

“It’s not about trust,” Lady Britannia pointed out, eyeing those dark bruises on her body.

“I can do this,” Natasha assured her. “I’ll be okay.”

Finally, the elder soldier nodded. The Black Widow then took the opportunity and darted towards her. She did a parkour move, using her feet to run up the car and jump on Lady Britannia’s shield. The Brit gave her a boost with the shield. The Widow then grabbed onto a nearby flying chariot.

The Black Widow climbed onto the chariot and used one of her electric batons to short-circuit the turret. The Chitauri on the turret lunged for her, but the Widow merely twisted her body and kicked him off the chariot. She then jumped on the rider and stuck her knives into his nervous system. Using his half-alive body, she managed to get him to drive over the bank of Stark’s building and jumped.

Landing with ease, the Widow headed towards the CMS machine. Selvig, slumped down, weakened, looked at her desperately. Glancing inside Tony’s apartment, she realized that Loki was graciously slammed into the floor by the Hulk; his brainwashing influence no longer there. The Tesseract's energy continues to fire towards the portal, gaining in strength, at the surge of energy moving through the sky.

“Doctor,” the Black Widow greeted, helping him up.

“Loki’s scepter, the energy…” he trailed off, his eyes glazed over. “The Tesseract can’t fight. You can’t protect yourself against that.”

“It’s not your fault,” she said, even though those words never truly had any effect on herself – but it was all the comforting skills she had. “You didn't know what you were doing.”

Selvig looked down, ashamed. Natasha felt her heart drop. “Well, actually I think I did,” he said. “I built in a safety to cut the power source.”

“Loki’s scepter,” The Widow realized.

Selvig nodded. “It might be able to close the portal,” he confirmed. He looked down and found a gold gleam beneath the rubble. “And I'm looking right at it.”

He was – it was so damn close. Nodding at Selvig, the Russian jumped down the edge and onto the lower level. She landed with a roll. She quickly reached the pile of rubble the scepter was under and pulled it up. It took all her might; her chest was indeed injured by the Chitauri. Her concentration, however, was interrupted by a loud shrieking noise.

_SWISH! _

Dropping the cement, Natasha looked up to see Tony speeding outside of the city faster than she has ever seen before.

Natasha quickly held down her earpiece. “Tony, what’s going on!?”

“We have a nuke headed our way!”

!"!

_Please, make it Tony_, Natasha thought desperately as Iron Man climber higher and higher above the city with the nuke in tow. In an instant, Iron Man, gaining speed, flung himself through the portal. Communications with him died instantly. Natasha could only look up in horror. _Please, make it_.

All of a sudden, the millions of Chitauri soldiers and Leviathans kneel over and begin to shake. Then it stopped; they fell over. None of them made a single twitch of a muscle. He did, Natasha thought happily – but Tony was nowhere to be seen.

Still holding the scepter in hand, the Black Widow shifted. “Come on, Tony…” she said to herself. He was a giant pain in the ass, but he was _her_ pain in the ass.

She heard Steve’s voice over the communicators. “Close it,” he commanded sorrowfully.

_Nadine Roman – or Natalya Shostakova (she felt as if she didn’t know who she was) -, with severe burns covering her entire body, breathily walked through the halls of Pripyat Hospital. Every step hurt; every breath felt like needles stabbing her body. It was excruciating. She usually kept her feelings to herself, but today she let her pain show. Tears poured from her eyes. She screamed desperately for help, for the nurses to take her before she fell lifelessly to the ground – but not one person came to her. That’s when she reached the main emergency room and saw the hundreds of people in hospital beds with symptoms the doctors couldn’t quite place. _

_The Russian’s heart somehow shattered even more. _

_…What has she done?_

“I’m sorry, Tony,” she whispered.

Without hesitating, Natasha felt the Black Widow take over and pushed Loki’s scepter forward. The CMS machine collapsed instantly, the Tesseract turning off its energy beam. The portal quickly closed as a result. To Natasha’s great joy, however, a small figure hurled backwards into the open now-closed portal. It’s Tony! He made it!

She heard Steve’s joy in her earpiece. “Son of a gun!”

Natasha shook her head, chucking lightly. Men. Didn’t those two want to fight each other just yesterday?

But that’s when she noticed: Tony kept falling.

Natasha grabbed her graplin hook, ready to catch him, when _the Robin_ came shooting forward. The Mockingbird ejected herself and flew down to Tony’s level. She quickly attached the unconscious man to her harness and activated her parachute. The two shot up instantly. Natasha smiled. They were safe. Natasha leaned over the rooftop to look at the rest of the Avengers below her. And they won.

!"!

SHIELD agents filled Tony’s penthouse. Two dozen agents lined up on each side of a cuffed and gagged Loki, taking him to the bottom of the building. There, they would wait for the Avengers to report to governmental officials on what occurred and decide what to do with the Norse god from there. Natasha honestly hoped that SHIELD’s High Council would decide to execute him – but she doubted that Thor would allow it.

“You’re not going to talk to them?” Peggy asked her, leaning in close. 

Around the hologram of the High Council centering in Tony’s living room, Steve stepped forward to put in a few words of his own. Much to Natasha’s annoyance, he seemed to be advocating for Loki to be placed in the custody of Thor. A shame. Natasha may have been responsible for a mass casualty event, but she never killed those people purposely. Loki did it because he wanted to.

“I have nothing to say,” Natasha shrugged. It didn’t matter if she did; she was just a weapon to those people. She wondered to what extent her interactions with Fury and Hill stemmed from that belief. Did they truly appreciate her skills? Did they truly appreciate her good deeds? Or did they just promote her to keep a close on her?

Peggy nodded in understanding. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know,” Natasha admit. “SHIELD doesn’t trust me, so how I can trust them?”

“I understand. Truly, I do.” Peggy smiled sympathetically. “But did you ever really trust them either? Or was it Agent Hill that you did?”

Natasha leaned against the doorway, sadness in her eyes. “I don’t know anymore.” She closed her eyes, sighing. “Everything’s changed so much.”

Peggy mimicked her movements, their faces just a few feet from each other. “You need to do what feels right,” she urged.

“But what’s right?” Natasha questioned softly. “I can’t seem to figure it out.”

Peggy cocked a sideways smile. “Can’t say I have either,” she admit. “…But listening to our hearts is all we have.”

A pause.

“Is that what you did when you followed Steve back into Europe?” Natasha barely whispered, almost fearful of the answer. Almost. She was still strong, stronger than anyone before her – including Peggy and Steve. So why did she feel like a child? Like a youngling fighting for Madame B’s approval?

Peggy must have sensed that, for her face dropped. Ordinarily, Natasha would have been pissed that her emotions were so easily able to be read. Now, though, all she wanted was an answer to her question. An answer to the questions of her own. Because Peggy was the key to it all. She was the piece in Natasha’s life that has always been missing. It was something that she wanted to forever stay.

“Yes,” Peggy finally whispered back.

_Boom. Boom. Boom. _Natasha’s heart pounded against her ribs.

“Do you regret it?” the redhead asked.

Peggy’s brown eyes softened immensely. Taking her hand out of her glove, she gently reached out and brushed a loose hair behind Natasha’s ear. It was a small touch, but something she always dreamed about when Natasha was first born. And the effect seemed to have worked, for Natasha leaned into her touch.

“Only in that I didn’t get to raise you,” Peggy said, because that will always be her biggest regret.

And there it was. The words Natasha always wanted to hear; the words Natasha dreaded since Peggy came back into her life. She wanted to stay angry at her, to blame her absence for all the dreadful things in her life – but she couldn’t. Her heart refused to let her. And, if she was being honest with herself, Natasha was just _so_ tired.

She opened her mouth, ready to spill everything she felt. “I-”

_Blood dripped from the nasty gash on Natalia’s head. Her hands being forcibly held above her head, the young adult could feel every drip rushing down her arms. It was too much for her. She had to get medical attention soon. And yet her “trainer” refused to let her go. He just hit her and hit her and hit her until she could barely keep her eyes open. _

_“James,” she whimpered in the man’s native English. “You love me…Please…” _

_But his usual soft eyes showed no love today. Instead, they were filled with pure hatred. It made Natalia shrink into the floor. What did they do to him? What did they do the man she loved? He used to be the one good thing in her life and now even that has slipped away. Because of _her_. Because of the woman who tormented her from day one – and now stood menacingly above her. _

_“_Pozhaluysta!_” Natalia shrieked, tears falling from her eyes. [Please!]_

_“_Vy dolzhny uchit’sya,_” Madame B whispered, caressing her cheek. “_Rodina ne dayet vtorogo shansa._” [You must learn. The motherland doesn’t give second chances.]_

_Shattered. Natalia’s heart absolutely shattered, as her one true hope stood up and walked away. Natalia never wanted to this. Why couldn’t Madame B understand? She never planned for any of this to occur. She just wanted James to be safe. But, looking up at the man she once knew, Natalia understood that James was dead. The Winter Soldier had returned. _

_As Natalia felt her pants being ripped open, she screamed louder than ever before. _

Natasha jerked away violently from her mother. She stumbled back, her body slamming against the end of the doorway. It cracked. The noise brought the attention of all the agents and other Avengers, but Natasha paid them no mind. Her mind was focused on the pounding of her heart, on the blood rushing to her ears.

“Natasha?” Peggy questioned, eyes crinkling in confusion.

_Oh, no. Not again…_

Natasha couldn’t breathe. Her arms shook and her heart felt as if it were pounding out of her chest. “Natasha are you okay?” came a distant, slurred voice; this, despite the fact, that she could feel Peggy’s steady arms around her shoulders. Natasha tried to look at her, but she felt the weight of her head force her to look down, where the world around her began to spin. She tried to steady herself, only for her to fall to her knees.

Natasha pushed pass Peggy, pushed past those who pretended to care. She needed to be alone. She needed time to think. She needed-she needed…Natasha wasn’t even sure what she needed. She just knew that she needed to get out of here. And throwing open the doors to stairwell and rushing down, she did just that.

_“Love is for children,”_ Madame B’s voice whispered in her head.

Natasha slapped her own face. “Get out my head,” she growled.

The sound of her footsteps slamming down the metal stairway increased.

_“You know you deserved it,” Madame B responded. _

_“I did nothing wrong! I’ve done everything you asked!” _

_“And yet you fell in love with an American!” _

Natasha grabbed her hair and pulled, trying to get the pain to keep her sane. “Liar!” Natasha screamed at nothing.

Natasha’s pace down the stairwell increased.

_“I had such high hopes for you, Natalia…” _

_Natalia scoffed. “Funny, I could say the same thing about you.” _

_Madame B’s blue eyes gleamed dangerously. _

Natasha ran down the stairwell at a dangerous pace.

_“It would seem we have to go the extra mile to ensure your obedience…” _

Natasha felt the tears fall from her eyes. Vaguely, she could hear someone call her name – but it didn’t matter. Her mind was stuck in the endless loop that only death has freed her from.

_Natalia took a step back, shaking her head. “I will not become like him.” _

_Madame B grabbed Natalia’s bruised face, gently wiping the tears away. “Oh, Natalia,” she whispered. “After all these years…do you really still believe you have a choice?” _

Natasha screamed, and the next thing she knew she was flying down the stairwell. _BOOM! BOOM! BANG! _Her body hit the wall, the stairs, the railing in an endless rotation of pain. Her lungs were once again screaming at her for the fourth time these past few days. She didn’t care, though. The dreams were going away, the voices disappearing to the darkest depths of her mind.

When her jaw met the end of a step, Natasha welcomed the sweet relief of darkness.

!"!

“Nat,” a voice whispered.

Natasha opened her eyes, a loud ringing in her ears. She flinched at the noise, instantly shutting her eyes back once more. She could feel her face being gently caressed, though. Her head was in the lap of a gentle woman. She wanted to get away from her gentleness, but she could barely feel her own legs.

“Nat,” the angelic voice whispered. “Can you hear me?”

_Nat_…the woman was calling her by her nickname. Why was the woman calling her that? Did she know her? Groaning, Natasha once again attempted to open her eyes. She was met with a barrage of blinding light. Her face must have said it all, for the woman so delicately holding her began to softly rub her head. It felt calming, almost _magical_.

Finally, Natasha is able to open her eyes. And she is met with a beautiful angel.

She had long, dirty blonde hair with tints of red. Her dark green eyes made her thick, dark eyebrows really pop. Yet it was the woman’s cherry lips that Natasha kept looking at. They were hovering above her own lips, as if she were fighting an internal battle to not kiss Natasha. And, as strange as it sounded, Natasha was strangely disappointed that she wouldn’t.

“Hey,” the beautiful angel whispered, giving a toothy smile. Her mascara running down her eyes, it appeared as if she had been crying. “It’s so good to see you.”

See you? So they had met. But how? Natasha may not have remembered everything about her past, but she would have remembered someone she had a close relationship with. And this was someone who clearly presented romantic feelings for her. Normally Natasha would have passed her off as someone who was crazy, but the intense look in her eyes made those thoughts burst into flames.

“I never thought I’d see you again,” the woman sniffed.

Natasha opened her mouth to question her; to ask all the questions circling in her mind. But then she started coughing up blood.

“Don’t talk!” she quickly said, setting Natasha’s head back down on the ground. It appeared that she was going to leave. “You’re going to be okay…I promise.”

Darkness – but not before she heard the mystery woman whisper a few last words.

“I’ll see you soon…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ….Guess who the angel was :) 
> 
> I want to lay out what happens now, while also dropping hints about what will occur in the future. After all, as Steve said to Natasha, you can't escape the past.


	7. Chapter 7

Natasha’s eyes snapped open. Breath heavy, she threw herself out of her bed, spinning around the medical ward. She tried focusing on her feet, but those too spun wildly out of control. It was an endless sickening, nauseating feeling. She wanted to control her breathing, but it felt too strange. Wakening from her brainwashing was one thing; this was another thing entirely. She’s never felt like this before.

"Tasha!" a familiar voice called out.

Natasha looked up and saw the blurred image of Clint running up to her. She shakily reached out to grab his shoulders, only to find that her hands had a strange red glow to them. Natasha jumped back in surprise. No – her entire body was glowing. Why do all the strange things have to happen to her?

“The witch,” Natasha gasped out, staring at the strange beauty.

“What?” Clint questioned, attempting to get Natasha back to her bed.

“The witch,” Natasha said, trying to resist. “Where is she?”

“What witch?” Clint asked, finally succeeding in getting her to sit down.

“The one that found me!” Natasha exclaimed. She immediately grunted, holding her face in her hands. She felt so sick.

“Natasha, there was no witch,” Clint said, bending down to face her eye-to-eye. “Peggy and Steve found you after the meeting was over.”

Natasha shook her head. “No…no…there was a-”

Natasha couldn’t finish her sentence, for she rushed to a nearby trashcan and threw up all of her stomach’s contents. She heard Clint grunt and felt him hold her hair back. She would have thanked him for his aid, but she didn’t get the chance – the red glow vanished. Not just on her hands but her entire body too. To make things stranger, her entire body felt replenished. Her lungs felt 10 times better than they did before Steve and Peggy came around and her head was clearer than ever before.

_ Who are you? _

_ How did you do this to me? _

_ Why did you do this to me? _

“Wow,” Clint breathed out.

“The witch,” Natasha said, turning around on her knees.

“Tasha, there wasn't any-”

Natasha stood up. “How do you explain this!?” she snapped, raising her now-clear arms.

Clint shifted. “We thought you would be able to explain-”

Natasha’s jaw dropped. “You thought I had secret powers!? What the fuck, Clint!?”

Clint raised his hands. “Hey, before he left with Loki, Thor said something about the possibility of-”

“Before he left with Loki!?” Natasha interrupted. “How long have I been out?”

“Two weeks.”

“Two weeks!?” Natasha exclaimed. Surely, that had to be a joke.

Sadly, the look on Clint’s face told her that it was all too real.

Natasha slid down the wall in despair.

_ Oh, little witch… _

_ Who are you? _

_ How did you do this to me? _

_ Why did you do this to me? _

Her parents. Loki. Clint’s brainwashing. Bobbi’s apology. Her own brainwashing. Hill’s betrayal. Even May’s story. And now…this. Whatever this is. Natasha wasn’t too sure. She could have been hallucinating like Clint seemed to have believed (she wasn’t exactly in a sane state of mind), but her heart knew something strange had happened. She knows it did. At the moment it may be a mystery, but she’ll figure it out. She’s Natasha fucking Romanoff. The best spy in the entire world. She'll solve this in no time. 

“Natasha,” Clint sighed. “Are you alright?”

No, she wasn’t. Just 10 years ago, she was a happy ballerina in Moscow with a double life as a KGB assassin. And now her life was a never-ending spiral of what the hells. It wasn’t fair. None of it was. But she wasn’t going to start talking about her emotions. She’s done enough of that for a lifetime. Now was the time for action; now was the time to solve old puzzles. 

“Where’s everyone now?” Natasha questioned. Thor was back in Asgard, but that left her without everyone else’s locations. 

Clint frowned, but continued her train of thought. “Stark is back running his company. He hired Banner to be some sort of consultant,” he said. “Rogers and Carter are somewhat connected to him, too. He got them a new apartment in exchange for running a few missions for him, I believe. They’re in Germany now actually.”

Natasha cocked an eyebrow. “They're working for Tony?” She didn't know if that was stupid or funny. 

Clint shrugged. “All SHIELD sanctioned, of course. Fury thought it best to keep _ ‘The Avengers’ _ together.”

Of course he did. That made it easier to keep track of them. 

“And Bobbi?”

“On some sort of mission with May,” Clint said. “Top-secret. Just left yesterday.”

Natasha nodded distantly, thinking hard.

Clint tilted his head. “May stayed with you every day,” he said. “So did Rogers and Carter. They would have been here with you today too, but the grandkids of a few of their old army buddies got kidnapped and Fury-”

Natasha waved him off. “It’s fine, Clint. That’s not what’s on my mind.”

“What is?”

The witch. The angel. The beautiful girl she wanted to kiss. The woman who so clearly knew her and yet Natasha didn’t know at all. She still suffered from a lack of recognition of her past, but more often than not she's been able to get certain feelings around those she's come in contact with before; it's what's saved her from being killed by old Soviet bounty hunters multiple times before. When she was around the teary woman, however, she got none of those feelings. She truly was a mystery to Natasha. 

“Did May and Bobbi leave a line of communication, or have they gone dark?" Natasha questioned. 

“They’re dark.” 

_ Der’mo. _

Clint frowned. “I’m sure Hill will give you a line to them if you ask.” 

Natasha glared at him. "I'm not really interested in talking to her right now." 

Clint gave her a pointed look, half-amused by the hypocrisy. 

_ Trakhat’ tebya. _Natasha wasn’t going to mention the whole Iran issue, but now she would. If Clint could laugh at her pain, then Natasha could laugh at his. 

"Come on, Nat. What did you expect her to do? She’s the freaking Deputy Commander - she had orders." 

"Doesn't make it right,” she half-growled. 

"Oh, and you've never done anything unethical?" 

"Not to my friends." 

The cocky smile on his face vanished instantly. For all Natasha's done, Clint couldn't think of a single time she's screwed over him, May, or Hill. 

"I'm sorry," the blond said. 

You should be. You know what it's like to be brainwashed now. Take that feeling and add the mixture of your friend knowing about it too. 

Natasha wanted to say it, but, as she decided before, she was done with her emotions. "For telling Bobbi about Iran or for Hill?" Natasha deflected, copying Clint's previous smirk. 

Clint raised his finger, stunned. "Now hold on-"

"I trusted you, Clint," Natasha said simply. "And you told her anyway."

"Fuck, Tasha! I was worried about you!" he argued, as Natasha pushed past him. "I've never seen you act so erratic - not even Carter and Roger’s reappearance could compare!” 

Natasha shrugged, making her way to the door. "Like I said before, Clint," she said. She paused and turned to face him. "Doesn't make it right." With that, she slammed the sliding-door shut. 

The windows to the room shattered instantly, revealing a saddened Clint. 

Okay..._ maybe _, she wasn't completely done dealing with her emotions. 

But the anger felt wonderful; like it made her stronger and more focused - as if she needed it, thanks to the witch. However, it reminded her more of her time as Nadine Roman in Russia. Nothing stopped her back then. There were no morals, no family, no political parties calling the shots; there was nothing holding her back from her true potential. 

Natasha may not want to be like Nadine Roman ever again, but she needed a bit of that _ nothing _right now. 

!"!

Natasha made her way through SHIELD’s headquarters. She had a mission in mind - and no one dared to get in her way. If agents need information for their missions, the Archives are the place to go; so to the Archives Natasha went. It was meant purely for SHIELD-sanctioned missions, but after all she’s done for them they could forgive her for using it without authorization. 

Sadly, as the Archive doors slid open, however, it revealed hundreds of agents in the facility. At the sight of her, whispers began. Apparently, Clint wasn’t the only one who thought she had hid secret powers from SHIELD. Normally Natasha would scream at them for being so idiotic, but now was not the time for that. 

“Get out,” she ordered. 

The agents froze - except one. 

_ Der’mo. _It always has to be him. 

“Fuck you, Romanoff,” Agent Ward snarled. “We’ve got missions too.” 

Natasha’s eyes narrowed dangerously. Slowly, she made her way to Ward’s desk. Those around him were quick to run to the side; Ward foolishly froze on the spot, his face slowly dropping to fear. _ Good _. One more remark from him and she would be more than happy to throw him through another window. 

Natasha placed her hands directly in front of Ward, bending down so she was face-to-face with him. “Get. Out. Now.” 

Immediately, everyone darted out of the room; Ward tumbling behind them. 

Natasha smirked and sat down at the Ward’s old desk. She quickly hacked her way through the firewall to get into SHIELD’s datacenter without leaving a trace. She may have semi-trusted them before, but that trust was long gone. She needed to focus on protecting herself now - who knows what else SHIELD has done without her knowledge? She thought she did once, but her trust in herself too has vanished. 

All she needed was the security footage of herself in the staircase. Simple - no? Natasha knew the protocol; agents would have seized all footage of the events that transpired. Their job would have only been aided by the fact that Tony had hundreds of cameras hidden throughout his building. And yet, all she could find was a crap load of _ nothing _. 

_ Kakogo cherta? _

Natasha leaned back in her leather chair with a sigh, both gritting her teeth and shaking her head in annoyance. She should expect this; the never ending barriers in her life. It’s not that she couldn’t get past them, but the fact that they were thrown at her _ everywhere _she went. Nothing could ever be simple for her. 

Natasha extended her search to include _ all _footage from The Battle of New York. Only, that ended in nothing too. It was classified; the only footage available to personnel was that which was shown on social media platforms. What made Natasha question the decision even more was the fact that the classified footage was only accessible by two people-

Fury and Hill. 

Of course, it was. She should have known. No one could beat Stark’s tech without massive resources. But that begs the question of - why? Why classify such material? Wouldn’t it be given to the public domain? Aliens nearly destroyed New York City for heaven's sake! Even the average citizen would fight for all information available on it. Something like this can’t be hidden forever. 

Like Chernobyl.

Luckily, Natasha didn’t have to question it for long. Fury and a group of agents burst into the Archives with their weapons drawn. 

“Natasha,” Fury sighed, as if disappointed.

Of course, the scared little agents went running to Fury. Natasha refused to show her disappointment, though. 

Instead, she stubbornly crossed her arms and legs as she leaned back in her chair. “Director.” 

!”! 

“I need a line to May.” 

Fury frowned. “Why?” 

“Why has she gone dark?” Natasha countered, rather irritated by this encounter. She’s done so much for SHIELD. The least they could do is give her the information she needed. 

Fury gave her a pointed look. “You know that isn’t how this works.” 

Natasha looked at his guards, eyes narrowed. “How this works?” She laughed. “Funny, cause the way I see it - you give me what I want or I put a bullet in your head.”

The men were quick to once again pull their weapons on her. Natasha shot out of her chair and pointed her own pistols at them. Panicked, Fury launched himself between them, pushing both Natasha and the senior guardsmen back. “Enough!” he exclaimed, as the tension remained. Natasha relented, but Captain Lane decided it best to keep his weapon drawn - something Fury would not allow. “Get out!” he ordered his guards. 

Lane grit his teeth. The man was truly never fond of her. “As you wish, Director.” 

With a hand gesture to his men, Lane and the others left the room. 

Fury sighed, and locked the doors. “Natasha…” 

“Did you always know that my real name wasn’t Natasha?” 

“What?” 

Natasha imitated his earlier pointed look. “Come now, Director. You know exactly what I’m referring to.” 

Fury sighed. “No, I didn’t. I suspected about a year into your time here at SHIELD, but I never had any DNA to run a comparison with.” 

Natasha nodded. “So that’s why you kept me around.” It came out as a statement, rather than a question. 

The Director, however, shook his head. “Believe it or not, I do like you Natasha. You’ve done a lot good for the world.” 

“Ironic coming from you.” 

Fury shook his head, disappointed. “Be mad at me all you want, but until you're dead, someone like you will always be a danger to the public.” 

Natasha smiled mockingly. “I’m touched.” 

A flash of anger. “Is this a joke to you?” 

“At this point?” Natasha laughed. “Yeah, it is. Tony’s little _ whoopsie _has made me go over my entire time here at SHIELD. And, thanks to that, I’ve come to a revelation.” 

“And what is that?” 

“That all of you deserve a giant 'fuck you',” Natasha snarled. “You Americans are _ exactly _like Russia. The only difference - you hide behind your massive egoes.” 

Fury looks down. “That’s one way of putting it.” 

“It’s the _ only _way,” she countered. “You have no understanding over who your friends and enemies are. And even when you do get friends you treat them with utter suspicion and hatred. Over half a decade I’ve spent here and only three treated me kindly and bothered to get to know me.” Her green eyes narrowed dangerously. “Even you still fear me.” 

“And why would I fear you?” 

“Because despite all your control...all your power...I’m someone that can make you nothing.” 

“Then you understand why you’re a dangerous person?” Fury snapped. “ Because until we can figure out how to eliminate the brainwashing from your mind, there will always be a risk of your abilities being used against us once more. At least with your activation code, we have a way of forcing you back onto our side.” 

“No!” Natasha growled. “Enough with the lies! Your goal was to perfect it - not eliminate it!”

“That isn’t true, I can assure you.” 

Natasha laughed. “Assure me?” She looked around the empty room in amusement. “You hear that everyone? He wants to _ assure _me!” 

“Natasha-”

The redhead spun around to face him with a growl. “As if I’d _ ever _trust his word again.” 

Finally, Fury relented and took a burner phone in his jacket and slammed it into Natasha’s hand. “Here. Let the phone ring twice and May will pick it up.” 

Natasha took it with a huff. “There we go,” she said. “One step closer to rebuilding our relationship - was that so hard?” 

Fury shook his head, looking at her closely. “What the hell happened to you?” 

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing,” Natasha glowered. “I just finally decided to face the past head-on.” 

There was a long moment of silence. 

“Should I still consider you a member of SHIELD?”

“Depends - tell me everything you know about the witch or I walk.” 

!”!

“That’s not possible.” 

Natasha kept saying it over and over again - as if that would make the video go away, as if that would make the logical illogical once more. Yet she has seen the footage a dozen times now. Tony, Peggy, Bruce, a man named “Scott Lang”, and her little witch, a Sokovian named Wanda Maximoff, all magically appeared in the midst of the Battle of New York with a pop. This in spite of the fact that footage places all of them away from their doubles are; Steve, Tony, and Bruce all fighting with Natasha, Scott Lang in Connecticut with his daughter, and her witch friend thousands of miles away in Sokovia. Once again, the world didn’t make any sense.

“You see now why I had to block access to the footage, do you not?” Fury said, sitting in her chair.

“What the hell?” Natasha shakily asked, because those words were all she could think of to describe the situation. 

“My thoughts exactly.” 

Natasha shook her head, staring at the image of Wanda Maximoff eating lunch with her brother. So beautiful. So young._ What happened to you? What happened to _ me _ that made you so disconnected from the world? _Natasha had a million questions running through her head. 

“How is this possible?” Natasha finally asked. 

Fury tilted his head. “After all these years, you’re still surprised?” 

Natasha laughed, her anger at Fury forgotten. “You would think I’d learn by now.” 

“This can’t get out,” Fury warned. “The present must not affect the future. We must go on as if we’ve never seen this.” 

How? How is that possible? She has just seen the future literally collide with the past. It’s not possible to just vanquish such an image from her mind. 

“What are you planning to do about this?” 

“Nothing,” Fury responded. “Just stay aware of everything that’s occurring.” 

Natasha raised an eyebrow. “Bobbi and May have anything to do with that?” 

He nodded. “Sent them to Connecticut to watch Lang for a little while. Feel him out.” 

“And what of Maximoff?” 

Fury tilted his head. “I was going to send you to Sokovia for a few days. Given how..._close_ you two looked, I thought you would want to be the one to go.” 

Natasha huffed, an emotionless smile on her face. “Do Bobbi and May know about this?” 

Fury nodded again. “They’re the only ones - other than Deputy Hill, that is.” 

So once again Natasha was going to be left without such information. What was the point of being a level 10 agent if she didn’t know what those below her did? 

“So?” 

Natasha narrowed her eyes. “So, what?” 

“Can I trust you to make a profile on her?” 

Natasha scoffed. “No.”

Fury looked surprised. “No?”

“Before I do anything, I need to go to Iceland for a little while.” 

_ To Yelena. _

If Fury didn’t look surprised before, he certainly did now. “Iceland? There hasn’t been anything there since the Cold War.” 

“Exactly.” 


End file.
